Continuing off a post I made awhile back, Its time to move on. That post, if you haven’t read it, is about the struggles of starting something new and moving on from that. This is about what I am doing next, because for the last three years I have had a lot of “moving on” moments.
here it goes….
I wrote this blog many times, trying to figure out what could be the focus what did I want people to read, what did I want them to hear me say.
For the last two months I have been preparing myself for what will be happening next for me; it has caused me to make many pro-con lists, and it has also caused me to stress. I did not tell anyone, unless they needed to know and/or they were people I knew would be excited for me. Because, truthfully, I am a person who is an open book but I do like my privacy, and its something you want to have control over. I worry what assumptions will people have and will they give me the hidden look I rather not get. The bottom line is, I live life for myself, always have (and there’s pros and cons that I plan to put in a blog one day). Anyways….
I should probably just say it.
I am going to graduate school for creative writing at UCC; University College Cork.
Saying it and writing it out I am excited, super scared and still a little shocked; I can’t help but wonder if I say it too many times I’ll wake up.
I always wanted to expand my writing skills, and it wasn’t clear what I could do with them after undergrad. I felt like if I went to a job interview I would have no clue what to do or say. I wanted to stop writing essays and start writing creatively, and learn more about how to write more creatively. I wanted to form a skill that would help me in a job that was something other then being an editor in publishing. And UCC was it; there’s a class on food writing!
When I found out, I did not look the email because that meant I had to decide (read that blog you can hear about how I am not good at deciding). And for a brief moment I wanted to tell the people who doubted me and said I wouldn’t make it. But I didn’t, because they didn’t deserve that; instead they deserve to watch me succeed.
The only real worry was, my parents; the only people I wanted to make proud. I couldn’t decide; I had panic attacks over my decision. But my dad told me some wise words; he said, “selfishly I want you back but you do what’s best and right for you.” So after convincing my parents and myself that this was right decision, I sent in my deposit to hold my place for the fall. When mom came to visit in June I showed her the campus, where I will be living (should have never went down the ally way or had them take pictures!). And she was happy when she saw the school and all of the signs on the campus that showed the focus of the school. She realized UCC was the right fit for me.
I am glad my parents are happy for me, and I know that graduate school is going to be a hard. But if you know me, and if you really understood where I started you would know I am determined to succeed. I try my hardest, I work 10 times more than other students.
As it gets closer to the end of being an Au Pair I am looking forward to starting something new, getting back to a routine of staying busy and going to classes, learning something new. I am excited to sit in a cafe reading a book that I probably would never have read unless I was in school. I am looking forward to staying in Ireland, because if you have been keeping up with my blog since I started you would know there is something about Ireland that just fits me.
I have begunslowly telling others my good news; I’m no longer saying “I don’t know” when asked what I’ll be doing next