Two years ago, I could not handle anything that was coming at me. I could not be happy in the now; I was worried about my future that I crashed. This is something I have mentioned but never have given details about. And I got up; I built the bridges, I learned to focus on the now, ignore what I cannot handle, and just live my life. Yet there are those times where you it feels like you can’t.
A lot of people count the days until Christmas, plan ahead for their life, but then there are some who shouldn’t count at all. They cannot answer the question “where do you see this going” or “what you going to do after.” Those people get overwhelmed and stressed when there is so much to do, and whencomes they are all over the place.
Before even leaving people would ask what I am going to do after grad school, when I am coming back, am I staying. And when I got here people did the same. It would frustrate me, I wanted to snap and scream, but they were just curious, which was fine. But, since I can only think about what will happen today, all I can do is get it done, and live my life and figure out as I go.
In these two weeks since being here, not only did I have to go back to school, I also had to get a lot other things done. I felt this pull once again.
Then I worked out, made lists, and breathed.
For anyone who feels this anxiety, and wants to escape it all, escape reality, you are not alone. I have learned ways to handle, and accommodate all those anxious feelings. Here are a few ideas to do just that:
- Goals. Setting goals for the day or even the week helps you accomplish them. Goals could be what you want to get done this week (not school wise), or things you want to do. Example: if I have to do something important, I’d set that as a goal, and if I want to take pictures I would set that as a goal.
- Make a list. I find it easy to make lists of all the things I have to do that day just to get it out of my head and it forces me to actually do it.
- Tell. I rather be the one that tells people then to have them ask me, so before they even get a chance to ask I just say it because then I have control over what I want them to hear.
- Sarcasem/ignore. Being sarcastic helps a lot when people ask those questions that you have no clue what to answer, and they make you feel uneasy.
- Do you. I find it easier to focus on me, to walk around doing what I want to do, going about my day. And if I want to ask someone to do something I will, and if they ask me that’s good too.
- Flow. To just go with the day or the week because anything can happen. Being in school is hard because there is so much you feel like you have to do. But wake up before and get those little things done, get to the library and do that assignment.
- Tell someone. I always find it helpful to just tell someone how I am feeling, what’s going on, someone who will just say sounds good, or okay. They do not share any other options, unless asked. I usually say “I’m feeling this because…..”
School can feel overwhelming and stressful but it’s important to also take the time and do you, socialize when you can and NOT when you are filled with so much anxiety.
My friend told me that if I want to be happy be happy now, because life is happening now. And I actually had a hard time doing that; there was too much going on. I was focused and got stressed over school/general things that I couldn’t be happy. Being back in school will be a challenge, and the one fear I have is that I will get back wrapped up in my worries, what to do next, and it will all become too much. But I am a different person now, I have overcome the crash, and I know how/what to do when those things/questions/feelings become overwhelming.
It is important to be true to yourself and admit that you are human. I think anyone who gets overwhelmed and stressed, and can’t count the days will understand what I am saying. It’s important for others who don’t go through this whirlpool to also understand as well. It’s all about getting through the stressful days and living your life the best you can.
Set goals and don’t think so far a head!
Quote by: Muhammad Ali