What I have recently learned about having ADHD is very different from what I understood when I was 16 or even when I was 18 going into college. When I was little I had no clue why I couldn’t sit still, why reading was so hard for me, why I couldn’t get what people were saying until I began to understand what ADHD was. At 16 I could tell people what it was and why I went to a different room to take tests. At college, I began having to explain it to professors, which gave me even a better understanding. Now having to explain it so many times and the many lessons learned, I have a new
understanding of what it means to have ADHD.
For people who don’t know, ADHD is attention deficit hyperactive disorder (on top of that I have something else that makes it hard for me to hear correct words and also it’s ‘symptoms’ are similar to those of ADHD). This means I cannot sit still, it is hard for me to focus, and I might not understand things right away; I easily will miss things, will become easily distracted, easily overwhelmed and stressed because I don’t understand and my brain is going a mile a minute. I am easily bored.
I have learned the hows to get around school, but there are still those moments when I get worked up and to someone who doesn’t know me they may think I’m being dramatic and hyperactive, but it’s hard for me to stay calm. I just become overwhelmed, to put it basically. I’ve learned when I cannot relax I either go to the gym, clean my room or organize myself. I also learned that ranting and just getting it out helps. Also when I get overwhelmed and stressed by things I just feel better when I do something that is routine; like I need to go to the library and I won’t feel good until I do.
Now it took me awhile (just the other day to be exactly) that I learned this. I feel bad for anyone who doesn’t understand what I am going through to have had to listen and hear me rant; usually I reach out to my mom who’s so use to it, she will just listen to me. I feel nuts and embarrassed, afraid that they might not understand or actually think I’m crazy because I feel crazy. But I know once I get out my stress or whatever is bothering me, once I have settled the anxiety, and controlled the emotions that I feel are drowning me, I will feel better.
The reason why I wanted to write this post is for anyone who has ADHD to understand that they are not alone; there are many people who are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed. Also, writing this allows me to know I am not alone, because sometimes I do feel like I am alone. There are a lot of people who say they have ADHD and have never been properly diagnosed, and they rarely say they have these feelings. They just say they have a hard time paying attention. But, that’s not where it ends, it’s outside of school too. It’s how we deal with everyday situations, too.
Being able to realize these things, learn why I do things, and how they can be sorted, has been good for me. If I never learned these things then I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Note: I never use my ADHD or any of my learning disabilities as an excuse; it’s who I am and it’s how I work. My hyper-ness is who I am, even if the reason it is sometimes so extreme and that it can become uncontrollable is because of my ADHD.
If you are someone who has ADHD you will understand what I am talking about if you are someone who doesn’t you might now will understand what its like for someone with ADHD.