So I just finished the last week of my classes, a lot of people finished Tuesday but I finished Thursday because I took the Thursday hour for one of the classes. And I am happy I did because I got to hang out with some really cool people and we got to understand each other a bit more and see each other’s ways; and be like “oh that’s totally….”
Anyways, besides having great Thursday classmates, the semester was very fun. I don’t think the work load was that difficult, but it took a lot of time and effort trying to get back into school things. I think it was hard to basically start over; I needed to learn how to adapt myself, my accommodations, what was expected, and plan my time. Planning was key.
It feels like yesterday I moved in and walked around campus, lost and confused, trying to figure out what floor I wanted to study while in the library (2nd floor because that’s where my future husband is). But I made each day its own, which was really important, because I don’t want to rush this experience. Planning ahead is just not healthy, unless it’s for classes and having to plan all the homework and such to get it done.
As we hand in our final assignments in the coming weeks, there is the unknown that we face because we put our heart and maybe even hair, into this work, into the classes and you just hope it is good enough. Creative writing is a bit unknown, because it’s your own work there is no right or wrong answer; no true or false, you aren’t taking a test where if you are like my dad make all the answers C. It’s writing, projects and creating something artistic with words.
Can you feel the tension?
For the last month I have spent hours in the library, typing away, editing, using my accommodations, and getting things done at my own pace. I had to basically ignore what others were doing and how they were doing it unless I was unsure and needed to ask questions. Because if I hear how for instance they have done something I would begin to compare myself and then worry and panic forms. That’s what I use to do, but this time around I made sure I didn’t listen, not be rude but to just not hear what they said. I’d listen to advise or how they explained what was supposed to be done. Does that make sense? Basically, I stayed in my own world, made sure I was ahead of the game, for my sanity and knowing that things could pop up.
There are these struggles I have, and I knew I would have them in graduate school, but I’ve learned how to deal with those struggles in a way that would help me succeed. And to succeed more it’s all about trying and effort.
Days are getting close to the end for a lot of people, either in grad school or undergrad, and there are all different stress levels and worries that begin to form as you enter the bigger unknown (sorry to tell you but the higher you go the bigger the unknown and the greater the stress levels), and you just have to take it on. And once you are done you can enjoy the twinkly lights that are the Holidays of December.