Grad school update: Broke, bored and bothered



 Here’s a little grad school update post; whats been happening in my head. I don’t think I’m bothered it just started with a B. (ha)


<<< that is an old picture which says it all! The imagery to my three weeks of boredom.

To be fair not all of is was boring, there were days that where exciting, got to go to Spittle twice, got to hang out with friends. And I loved those days, there was just not enough of them. Honestly, I feel stuck in a rut, bored of the usual, and itching to do something! 

 It all started with my being stuck with everything going on in my head. To top it off I was completely bored and just want excitement and have fun!  But, that wasn’t happening. School was out for two weeks, work was quiet, homework was on track, laundry was done, I couldn’t go shopping, I really couldn’t go on a road trip. Basically, I was feeling bored and was getting tired of not only that feeling but with a lot of things. It’s what happens when you are near the end of it all.

I have four weeks left of the semester and then onto my thesis. This brought on a lot in my head-panic attack! After calming down I try to focus on the now but there was nothing there; again with two weeks off- a head of the game- doing the same thing- I WAS BORED!  
What happens when I’m bored?  I was desperate for not only entertainment but something different to happen in my life. Yet nothing was exciting and everything was boring. And I’m pretty sure the only two things that will help this would to be go shopping and wearing what I just boat out. I’m telling you a new outfit, an adventure, and a really good conversation turns everything around. But BROKE. 

Since I have ADHD (and I wouldn’t see my ADHD  as an excuse but it will help explain why I can’t handle being bored) and I love being creative, so keeping busy keeps me centered. I am also a social person, so not having any of those things was hard for me to handle. really, the hard part isn’t knowing this because trust me I realize what I am doing, what is happening. But the hard part is trying to find that happy place. Find the excitement. Wasn’t finding it- BOTHERED

To be honest, even with this rut and craving something new and different excitement. Half of me wants to pushed the pause button because I’m not ready for this to end. The other me can’t wait to start the summer adventures not only in my thesis but in life too.

No hopes just positive out looks! Until then I’ll be in the library and gym.

xox

Kole.
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