Putting yourself first is the easiest yet hardest thing you could do. Make a decision on life, relationships, friendships, jobs, anything really can be hard because you think of the factors, you begin to think about others and not yourself, you think of what you said vs what you need to do. You really began to forget about yourself.
I am someone who always will put myself first either if its being who i am and not caring, or doing something I want to do. But it takes a lot of effort, stress and pro con list to get myself there. How do I do it well I have came up with a few advise to give others.
Don’t be taking advantage of. In some situations you can easily be taken advantage of- depending on what the situation is it could be feeling like this is all you know, you said you would do something, or giving excuses basically being completely understanding for the other side and not for yourself. For me I am very understand so understanding it can be frustrating because I suddenly get to a point Well what about me? and that sounds completely selfish but you know when making a decision that involves yourself you have to be. So don’t feel like you have to do something because of someone else.
Ask yourself does it make you happy is it worth it? I mean you can always find a way to make a living, find something to fill your time, reach out to an old friend when you have to let go of someone else. There are other ways and you shouldn’t be in something or with someone if it drives you made, it frustrates you and it honestly causes you more negativity then positivity.
If you don’t need it then don’t bother.
Another thing to ask yourself whats more important. You have other things going on and other things that you need to get done. That when it comes to needing to say no but you have something more major to do but you feel like saying no is going to hurt in the end. Well whats more important?
Pro con list are good thing because not only do you see the cons vs positive down right in front of you; weighing it out, but you also began to write down what you really what, what it gets down to. I wrote a pro con list and in the middle I wrote down my ‘understanding’ things but near the end of it I wrote “but I can’t be understanding when….” It gets the truth down.
Being nice and understanding is completely right, its respectful its being the bigger person but when you are dealing with you and your life, your relationships (all forms), jobs, school, living, you name it- thinking about how it will effect others, or what others will think of you can really put yourself second and thats not okay. Because you need to be happy, you need to not be taking advantage of, you need to put yourself first.
And if does not please you, makes you happy, or is satisfying in anyway then there really is no point?
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