I had a little moment today and wanted to share it….
I’m not from here that is known and not being from here can be hard because you feel like you’re always struggling to fit it, you’re never really settled, which can make having a life for yourself in a place that feels like your own home, tough. I never really had places that was my own,, or was someone to be part of the group. I always just felt better going unnoticed, being my own person-also in school I just never fit in and well didn’t have good friends. As I grew up and felt more confident in myself, I began to want that sense of my own place, my own group of friends, my own local shop. Where I can go in and they are like “Nicole”.
I feel that feeling of belonging in Cork when I go to shops/pubs/hair salons, and they remember who I am. The fact I can walk into shops like Only and Benefit counter in Boots and have the ladies in there recognize me and remember our conversation. Can stand there for an hour just talking away like we are friends who hang out all the time. To me is a sign of I do have a life here, this is my home despite not being from here or always having to move, or entering new groups as an outsider.
It’s the littlest things and moments that just get me. How I can go to the Benefit counter, talk to the lady about my 4th July and her weeks since we last saw each other at the counter; makes me feel a sense of belonging. Or it’s just a sign that I have a shopping problem.
Cork is my home.xox