My response to The Truth about being single

My favourite youTuber/blogger/writer/podcaster this year has built up to be Hannah Witton. I say built up because over the year I just grew to watch and read everything she has done. She’s a woman whom is all about relationships, sex, gender and so much more . I love it because she’s not afraid and she takes no shit.  A few weeks ago she posted a video called “The Truth Abut being Single” (link below). She answers a lot of questions on the topic of being single. And I found myself relating to a lot of what she had to say which gave me an idea for a blog post. Where I will take the questions and answer them myself.

I figured being in our mid-twenties and having to define our relationship status seems to be the most important thing. That in a relationship you get asked a lot of questions of WHEN. And being single you get a lot of POOR you. I figure this would be a great way to respond and help others feel good in their relationship status. Cause I sure did after watching the video.

The Truth About being Single Questions

<<< if you watch the video you will know that she is being asked these questions by her viewers. And I’m taking them as they come because really they are honest questions that people think about. >>>

Do you get lonely?

Who doesn’t get lonely? For me personally, being left alone in my brain isn’t the best idea-ADHD right?-but I have to say that over the past year and going on my single holiday I realised that I’m okay being alone I just get lonely sometimes. Like you kind of wish there was someone there to talk to or go to these places. I can do a lot of things on my own it would just be nice to have someone there.

Do you every have moments that no one will want to be with you?

No. I am F–fantastic. Plus there is always someone you can ask if they are free or talk to. And every girl at least as one guy to just get a little attention from. There is no shame in that-cause guys do it too-we all do it. I think really when I was in high school while everyone was like doing that whole new boy friend ever week/month thing I kind of wondered if someone would want me. But then I realise I don’t want to get stuck at 18, 21, 24-personally.  So, girls who are worried don’t worry. I think its best to know your worth, what you want and just do you.  

What is meaningful about being single? <<there was more to this question

Agreeing with what she said in the video is that I know I can do it on my own.  I’ve had times where I needed guidance or advice-I needed my mommy or daddy. But most of all I did it on my own. And that’s f—brave especially for a woman. Not only that I’m kind of very “I don’t know whats happening I’m just going with it” which can lead to really screwing up or looking like an idiot. But that’s part of life, figuring it all out. So most meaningful thing about being single is: all you got is yourself can be hard cause everything is on you but it makes you stronger knowing you can do it all by yourself.

Do you ever worry that you’ve been single for so long that you won’t be able to fit another person in?

Its a scary thing cause like you have a life thats your own and when you don’t start dating young or during like college where you are kind of on the same road and (hopefully) doing your own thing as well, its kind of easier to fit the other person in. I’ve had relationships or built up to ones that probably didn’t work cause of this question WOW Honesty. I mean its hard to like put lives together?! Esp. for my life style. I think it comes to two things effort and timing. ITs a beeping bitch, you can make it work if you really want to but timing is a thing. But the point is you got to work at it, got to find time and be willing to make sacrifices and compromise. Got to ask yourself if you would or not? So to answer, not really cause I know when I want something I’ll put the effort and time in.

Ever date someone and thought they were the one and what would you think love is?

If you are reading this and you actually know me-your probably laughing right now and can only guess what I will say. Cause I’m sarcastic but I said I would be honest to give the young, confuse, need advise girls to know they aren’t alone. I am not a romantic-I will hold peoples hands if I am afraid of getting lost or just to annoy them. I don’t like flowers cause they die.  But honest answer is no I don’t think there is the ‘one’ is out there. There is someone out there, there is always someone out there. Its just kind of if you are intrigued and fancy them.

For the last one, and think Hannah had the right idea on this answer. But for me personally I really don’t know. Its more logical for me, just how my brain works.  I have been in love but now its a blur feeling/memory that I don’t know if love actually is? Like it doesn’t excites anymore until it comes back cause its a feeling you have. But its also an effort thing as well. I think she has a better answer to this then I do. *walking away*

Do you feel constant state of “looking” for a relationship or content being single?

So am I always on the hunt or am I fine is what its asking. I also tell peopleThat I don’t want a relationship” and its true. I’m more on the hunt of someone to talk and do things with- I look for friends, boys, girls, a dog. And like I said I am fine when its just me myself and I, but I do enjoy being able to share moments and do things with people. That I think really the whole definition of a relationship doesn’t fit me. Commitment does. I think for readers, it really depends on what you want out of life and personally a relationship isn’t something I want out of life. Which can get confusing cause its a blur line relationship/commitment-talking to someone and spending time with them. Very confusing. So both? 

Would you ever lower expectations?

No cause they are set for a reason.  You learn your lessons and you understand what you don’t want. Which can make things harder to find the person who meets the standers. And if lower them you  fall backwards-into the same old crap.  So really why lower your expectations when you have them there in the first place? 

Do you ever get annoyed when ask why you are not in a relationship? Like there is something wrong with being single.

Yes. Because there is this pity when people question it or like a hidden stab at you. And my life shouldn’t be define as if I have someone then I am happy and life is great vs I don’t and my life sucks. I know a lot of people who have both are just dealing with life’s little adventures and climbs. It’s honestly none of peoples businesses and its hard cause you suddenly feel like its what you need in life a relationship. But, you don’t its just a plus.

And thats all the questions. This was actually quite fun because I got to write something different.  I think we need to embrace independence and the people willing to do things on their own. We grow up too fast sometimes, maybe cause 18 your seen as an adult but I’m 24 and I still don’t feel like I’m an adult. I think its this whole idea that by 30 your too old – dude when I’m 30 I’m in a whole new ball field!

xox

Kole

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12pGfOXg6X4

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