Bad Dates and Self Love

Let me tell you about dating…

Bad dates
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There are no cute meets in coffee shops and no guy is going to give you his leather jacket to ask you to go steady. No guy is going to ask for your number; instead, he’s going to ask you for your snap chat handle. Dating game has changed now that there are dating apps making it easier to meet someone, to put your face out there for strangers to swipe on, and no place to run. Also the whole one night stand, booty call seems to be more what people want then meeting someone to form some kind of connection with. That’s all anyone wants is to love and be love, to have someone to go on adventures with? Or do you just want someone to meet up and get it done.

I found myself on tinder and bumble; I will have to say I hate them both. I would be swiping left through Tinder so many times for the guy was holding a fish. My friends keep telling me to not be so stubborn; “what’s the harm in going out on a date with the guy?” Let me tell you the harm is having a guy come at you with all lips, forcing them on you like a horror movie. I went on a binge of dating for a while and a number of bad dates I had made me realize exactly what I didn’t want and also the meaning of self-love.

I went on a date with a guy who told me I talk like a 16-year-old. Another guy kept making fun of me, calling it a joke, and constantly touching my back. He kept doing it after I told him I didn’t like being touched. I had a guy end up getting drunk and wanting to go clubbing. And then there was the guy who kept pushing back the hour of time we were meeting up. I wouldn’t think I would be the girl to hide in the bathroom to ring her roommate to call her in 5 minutes to get me out of here, but I was.

And it might not even be a date. How many times did I end up being out and the guy I matched on Tinder wanted to meet up? Here’s my tip, don’t even bother! The guy will turn out to be a real D-horrible, so get your free drink and run.

If first dates weren’t the ‘strike out’ that you needed the second one should be. And ask me how I could even go on a second date, the answer is I’m Minnesota Nice. I went on a first date with a guy who just made everything awkward. He wouldn’t talk. And I didn’t get those butterfly feelings but when he asked me on a second date I said yes. You know that feeling when you just can’t tell someone ‘no’ because you’re afraid of hurting their feelings.

Being on these dating apps, I wonder where conversations have gone–maybe to the smiling poo emoji.  While here I was trying to have a really conversation and the guy sends me sentence of emoji’s like it was Morse code. I had a guy on Tinder talk about how I looked “bang-able.” I don’t even know how to respond!?!  One of the guys, I was ‘talking to’ would every hour tell me what he did then ask me what I was doing, I would tell him. Then hour go by and again. My fingers were angry texting as I told typed him exactly what I said to him earlier. There is risk of creeps out there, you always have to be safe. Which I am, the handsy guy followed me out of the bar with his drink, the bouncers stopped him, while I looked at them giving them “i’m running away from this dude’ waved me off keeping him there. I also have had passive aggressive guys, who have told me they would do anything to be with me.  I run away so fast  from these guys that once they realize, I’m in Jamaica.

Through these  bad dates or bad meetups I learned: to never go on Tinder again, never wait 20 minutes for the guy to show up, and I learned exactly what I don’t want. I don’t want a guy who is going to talk down to me. I don’t want a guy who thinks its alright to wear socks with Nike Flip Flops. And through those I don’t wants I found myself realizing who I was, how I should be treated and what I was worth.  Because no self want of a attention of a guy to be in my life was worth giving up for some passive aggressive, all lips, fish holding, treats you like a joke and their idea of a comment it to say how you look bang able.

We spend so much time searching for the guy, the one, someone to converse with, someone to have late night talks, and any pinterest quote says it all. But maybe it’s not what we need from guys it’s what we need to do for ourselves. Because we might end up meeting a guy who is interesting, can keep up and your attention and is willing to try. These bad dates have taught me that I’m not stubborn I just know what I want. And there is nothing wrong in knowing what you deserve; it is what we call self-love.

 

 

 

Comment below about any of your bad date stories. If you enjoy reading this and these kind of post like,share and let me know. I really went for in this post and really loved writing it. It’s suppose to be funny. 

2 thoughts on “Bad Dates and Self Love

  1. Fantastic read, and I can totally relate. I’ve always thought being single was never a bad thing. People always end up feeling sorry for you, when deep down you’re actually content with your life. The best thing I learned whilst being single was to like to be around me, and only me. To feel comfortable enough to go places on my own, and to not care if people stare. Funny enough I did actually meet my boyfriend on Tinder, but I definitely had terrible dates, so terrible. Really enjoyed reading this.

    I’m Charlotte and I’m a Community Manager for Creators.co. I’m currently looking for interesting, inspiring articles and aspiring writers who’d like to share their work on the platform. Would that be something you might be interested in? Feel free to shoot me an e-mail for more info. You can find my details on my blog.

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  2. […] I decided to create a blog series on bad dates and everything in between. And I’ve been on dates and began seeing guys who’ve been nice don’t misunderstand me. The focus here is the “bad”. We are talking about dating for 20 something girls, this isn’t some high school dating shit. This is dating where you might want to find the one, might want that guy you can depend on, the guy you can talk to, go on the adventure with, who’s your best friend. This is Part 2 of Bad Date Series. Read part 1: bad dates and self love. […]

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