I know it’s not mental health month anymore so I’m behind but I didn’t know if I wanted to write this or how I wanted to write this.
We all have our own mental health story but we all feel the same way towards it (maybe I don’t want to put anything on anyway);we don’t feel like ourselves, we feel silly after and seem crazy. But we aren’t. I never saw my mental health as an issue and personally, I never really talked about it cause I don’t want pity. So I would just brush it off like saying “i’m fine” and giving people nothing when they ask why. But here it is.
I never realize I had mental health and need to take care of myself until I had a year that I call my dark time. Then I realize this was something I’ve been going through my whole life and needed not only take care of but also understand and know I have no shame towards it. For me, I have anxiety and depression. Also, my brain gets best of me and I have trouble handling things that lead to extreme outburst and panic attacks. And lately, my mental health has been challenged. So, I’ve been having more bad days and moments than good. Which is hard cause it not only reminds me of that dark time but also I know I’m a strong person and know what I can do; yet it seems to not be enough; the bad still keeps hitting me.
I’ve had two major moments where my mental health was at its worst at 10 years old and at 21. I’ve seen the worst, I have memories and feelings that come to me; reminding me. I know where bad is and I know how to get through it but also where I never want to end up. To make sure I don’t end up back in a “dark time” I do things, I keep myself motivated and filled with positives, I fuck the negativity and sometimes that included people and I have the BEST mother in the WORLD. I’ve tried therapy but my personality just didn’t fit. What do I do then? Well I created a list that I hope may help someone else who is going through some bad days, dark days. Below. Remember: you are strong & beautiful.
How to get out of them is easier said than done but here is a list of things I do to get myself feeling better or good again.
List of things to do to help you through:
- Take walks or get out of the house. Getting out of the house, getting some fresh air is the perfect way to have some time. Remember to breath in & out.
- Disconnect from social media and your phone. Don’t look at phone especially if you wake up and you feel it’s going to be one of those days walk away from the phone
- Do something that makes you feel good. Even if it’s taking a shower or brushing your hair.
- Read more. I think grabbing that good book really can be a good distracting and let yourself go into a different world
- Write. Either its dear diary scribbles on side of notes, or writing a story. Writing down can get those thoughts out of your head.
- Go into your own little world. Put on the noise cancel headphones and listen to those songs that fill you with joy and happiness.
- Take your camera and go chase some sunsets. Like the first one; I think the best way to get going especially when you feel it coming is to go on an adventure and take some pictures
- Lay down. When I hit that point of a breakdown; my best thing I do is just sit in my tub. ITs weird, I honestly sit there with my clothes on and just talk to myself. Like taking a relaxing bath just no water or clothes.
- Workout. A lot of the time my energy is built up and I need to let it out so I work out.
- Hang out with the people that know you and can really be there for you.
- Take the evening to relax. Have one of those me time nights. Put on a face mask, some Gilmore Girls; keep your phone away, and just enjoy a relaxing night in.
- Sleep and repeat.
These are things I do before the ‘storm’ during the storm, and after the storm; it really depends on how I’m feeling and what is going to be helpful in that moment. I know I’m the person when someone tells me “oh you’ll get over it” or anything that isn’t helpful just makes it worst. This list is a suggestion, some things you might not have tried and could work for you. A lot of times you do (I do at least) feel silly cause after the storm you feel fine like what happen wasn’t even necessary. But, don’t feel stupid because what you went through and going through was necessary to get to the rainbow!
Mental health is a battle; sometimes it takes a day, sometimes it lasts a whole week. But keep going and try different things; don’t put yourself in a situation that are going to negatively affect you. And if something isn’t working, drop it and walk away. You may not feel like yourself but you’ll soon feel like yourself or a total new person!
I find with blogging and being open like this I’m helping that little girl who didn’t understand what was going on in her head or that 20 something girl who needs to know someone out there understands. Talking about mental health breaks the stigma. What someone is going through is there’s. Reminder: you don’t know what someone is going through. A lot of time people can say “they understand” when they really don’t. What we need to do is talk about them, be there for our friends and loved ones; to not run away but to be there, show support cause when they talk to you they don’t want pity what they want is to talk. For the girls (&boys) going through the battle of mental health remember that you are strong every day!
I’m no professional I’m a girl who’s living and getting by with a war in her mind (did that rhyme that felt like it rhymed)
Disclaimer: I’m no way an expert, I never learned this in school, I’m not educated. Terms idk. And I’m taking from my perspective, what my mental health is and what I do. There is more to mental health then what I talking about. If you or someone you know are struggling with depression, mental illness, or suicidal thoughts, please reach out—to family, friends, mental health professionals, or crisis workers. In the United States and Canada, you can call the 24-hour, toll-free National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).