Spill it out: I don’t want to be a good influence.

I don't want to be a good influence..jpg

I don’t want to be a good influence because that’s too much pressure for me.

We all want to find something of ourselves in someone else, we find inspiration but we also find jealousy. I’ve had my experience of both.  We can’t help it but I think we should find more inspiration from others vs jealousy. Staying on track with how I don’t want to be a good influence. No one wants the there daughter to be dropping f-bombs but maybe they want someone their daughter can talk to, can give them advice. Giving inspiration and determination. And that is me.

No one is perfect, and I am far from it. I am 25 years old, not only do I swear, but I drink, I’ve gotten myself into situations I regret, I don’t eat my crust, I don’t listen, I’ve driven over the speed limit, I show more skin in winter & in summer and I talk back. I am a 25-year-old woman who is going to be a 25-year-old women. However, despite that I am someone girls can look up to. I understand my platform, I understand that people look up to me from the little one to my cousins to my peers. And I want them to. Because, as I grew up I didn’t really have that. I had a few but there was more I had to learn on my own or through friends that would be GREAT to have someone older to be there. Through blogging that’s my goal.

KNSK3585.jpg

There are topics I wanted to talk about on here that I stepped away from; like this post was going to be something completely different but I deleted out of fear of what people may think. Not about me more out of consideration of how others may react, and opinions, negative ones. I never want to offend. There are topics and subjects that are hard to talk about, one’s that are seen shameful or make people bashful. I personally, don’t mind talking about the topics but I feel more awkward when I know others don’t. I also 100% worry of being called names or opinions from outside voices just cause of a topic. Which just makes me more want to talk about it.

This is life, these things are happening in our lives; and the more we don’t talk about them the more we will either feel shame or there won’t be a change. They won’t be a lesson learned or even understatement.

Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

So, I’m going to talk about some things; you might not like them you might not agree with them. Hey, thats how the world works and that is fine. But don’t shame or be mean to someone because of that. We hear/see it so often people comments, people being opinionated towards who we are, what we do etc in life and online.  Great fantastic– like the random people on the beach when I was having one of the most frustration moments of my nanny life with a dog and a ball telling me what to do–I will tell you what I told them–go away. I won’t be a good influence cause I will never meet others standers nor will I want to.

When I nannied the best feeling in the world was knowing that I impacted her (&him) vs verse to me as well. The moment she says she learned it from me even if it was “probably shouldn’t have taught her that” like “that’s my name don’t wear it out.” That honestly was the best feeling. I know I’m no one, nor do I want to be, but if I can change (impact) girls in a way that makes them into empowering, driven, independent girls who have no fear of being who they are. Then I will be happy.

What I will be isn’t a good influence but I will be someone to look up to.

Processed with VSCO with a5 preset

 

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Spill it out: I don’t want to be a good influence.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s