A City Girl Update: New hair, new focus, new point of view, new composition…

I’m just naming photography terms. I thought I write a little city girl up date focus on inspiration, instagram and creating cause I’ve been feeling very unease and uninspired which I wanted to explain.

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There are two things that has formed this brick wall blocking my creativity. I’m a creative person but lately I’ve been feeling uninspired. I have nothing to write about and  it isn’t cause I can’t focus. I want to take my camera out but I’m having trouble shooting and its not cause my batter is low. It’s for the reasons I’m going to explain here.

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The first one is privacy, fakeness, and spam that has popped up too many times. If you follow me on twitter you will know my hate for spam especially phone calls so when I get spam/scam/fake accounts on instagram and then comments on my blog I get unease, I get mad. I get scared.That’s why I take notice and always try to make some friendly connections.  There are block buttons, mark as spam; which I am not hesitant to use. But there are those accounts that are–so bloody fake and trying to sell you something–we know them–seeing your stuff and it can feel unease. I’ve always shared little details as possible even in the most personal post I’ve written. I hardly ever do selfies on my public accounts. But, now with things like instagram stories you have more ability to share and there are things I want to share; I want to talk to people CAUSE I LOVE TO TALK. That’s exposing myself more; which I’m not a fan of. So, for awhile now I’ve been unsure what to share on instagram.

Second, I feel like I’m put in a box when it comes to photography. On my own of course, because I want to post what people will appeal to, what people will like and is “blogger fitting” (new term I created). I would never consider myself an art’s but I’m creating pieces for people to read, find something in and inspire. I’m creating stories. Even through blogging. But I feel like it has limited me into this box of blue. I don’t really know what I want, I see what others do and be like. I want to create that but I’m not seeing it; I look out my window I see the shadow of lights on the house next door and think that could be a photo but how do I create that photo?

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I find myself pulling away from instagram like Facebook its become over rated, it becoming too much. I hate that cause I love instagram! Personally, there is shit going on that has consume my thoughts and that has formed a wall too but creativity has always been my escape. However, that too is suffering, cause I have nothing, I feel unease and I want to grow.  But I don’t know how or where to go, I’m stuck.

What can you do when your blocked and can’t see it? Well I know what I need to do. So, I am doing some clean up, I plan to really challenge myself as a writer and photographer; get some deep shadows and feelings (haha). I’m going to write more thoughtful, flash fiction pieces, throw some more artistic photographs in there, maybe even some lace, and really grow. I have a project for a book to self publish by end of summer!  Getting myself out of this box that’s too comfortable. You always want to grow. And I so badly want to grow.

IF you follow me on instagram you might know where i got the inspiration for my title 😉

 

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