you hear it over and over again, we are snowflakes, lazy generation. And my response is you don’t know my life. So, if you really want to know what it’s like to be a millennium trying to make a life for herself in a society that makes you feel like you need to have that house, job, and so much by now read.
If you’re not following me on instagram, why aren’t you? I posted something middle of July of a long caption basically confessing how I am going through something personal and how I think about if I don’t share it am I even being real. And how sometimes not sharing is just fine. THIS BLOG POST is me telling what’s going on, it wasn’t going to be it was going to be how to get through difficult days, but how many list can you read. I decided that after having the 100th disappointment come my way after 9 months of chugging alone, feeling so discourage, losing my determination; I should write this what if someone else out there is in the same boat.
People keep telling me that it’ll work out in the end, something will come soon. And how lucky they have so a positive perspective, I am not an optimistic at all–I’ve been disappointed and crushed by high hopes for so long I will admit I am bitter. What drives me is my determination, my mind set for when I want something there is no stopping me. But after so many ‘strike outs’ I don’t have that determination, I have frustration and tears, and fears that for the rest of my life I’m not going to get pass working retail and will never have that life I left Ireland for. It’s like I’m back in my final year of college trying to pass English Syntax; getting those test back with D’s all over them while the guy next to me got an A, but saw he had something marked off and he’s ready to fight. OH I”M DONE! That is exactly how I feel every time when I don’t get that job.
I began to wonder what can I do. Is it because of my blog? Being so honest and real, people don’t like that, talking about being a women in this world, having a learning disability. I wonder how other ladies do it, how they are so successful, how they make it through so many no’s to their face. I really get discourage when I find out they’re younger then me, and I’m like did I miss my door? Never compare yourself.
I read so many articles of millennium and the statistics of how we aren’t lazy but how we are a generation with the largest of jobless careers. (when I find that article I read I’ll link it here). What do you expect when they want for experience is 10 years and you’re like at 14, I was babysitting. Or what about how they combine writing with web page design. The pressure of societies expectations, from relatives faces, fact you knew how great your life was and now look at yourself. You can’t help but feel like a total fucking failure. I’m not saying this cause I want pity I’m saying this to let ladies out there who are feeling like shit, disappointed, and looking them selves in the mirror with disappointment–that you’re not alone on the whole fucking suck scale. And you wish people will stop telling you it’ll work out because all you want is for it to JUST work out!
Because all you want is a life, for that apartment in the city, to afford the apartment in the city, to have benefits–don’t even get me started. To not feel like despite having a masters you’re worth it. To not feel like you wasted 4 years of a degree. They told you to go to college and that’s not even enough. SCREAM!
10 minutes and a work out later. I bounce back, with still struggles, still so many questions what else can I do, feel discourage for you don’t even know. The struggle is there are a lot of people out there-250 people applied for that position, the baby boomers are still working. And you’re kind of what can you bring to the table other than “yourself.” You really got to sell yourself, something I’m really trying to work on. I was asked “why me” the first time I answered: “oh god what if the other person is nice,” that shows my character but guess you can’t show that your a caring person. Then the struggle in finding that actual job you want. Honestly feel like this side of the world really does not put a lot of credit to creative jobs or people. For instance, I see other girls making content for a coffee shop or a pub in England. Here there is nothing like that. Trust me I looked, I even try doing freelance positions but again I feel like its the door thing & not much out there. It is worst than Ikea directions!
Though, I don’t have any suggestions on what more can you do, what can you put on your CV or in cover letters, because I am still trying to figure that out. What I can tell you is so many times in school after failure, failing out of syntax and actually getting into my car ready to drop out of college, the fact I didn’t, those struggles were hard but I got through them. Look at all the stories I’ve said, the moments I shared. I am not a patient and high hopes person, like I said, but I do know failure always wins. So I say take a break, try to take the pressure off yourself and wait to apply when you’re not feeling so discouraged but feeling confident. So many times when I bounce back still having tears in my eyes, looking at jobs kind of just makes it worst. I get it you want to have that career, you want to get out of this shit whole your feeling, you want to use what you not only went to school for, but love doing. And you just wish it would! My friend told me that there’s an Irish saying “whats for you won’t pass you” & so far a lot of the things/people that have pass me were never for me, it took awhile to realise that, so I believe in that saying.
WOW. that felt good to write. If you too are going through the same struggles and frustration let me know if this helped in anyway, or have any advise. That is why I wrote this not for pity I said it because someone else out there is probably sitting on her bedroom floor screaming into a pillow and wanting to give up just let her life be what it is.