On my mind: No need to explain yourself

Let me explain how I’m not going to explain myself anymore & a question I’ve been asking myself with Instagram. 

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I have always been an open book and an explainer, every since I was little. I would tell people everything, I’d announce not that I have to go to the bathroom but that I have to pee. I would explain a lot of things to people, mostly out of fear of assumptions and being misunderstood. But, over the last few months now I found myself stopping. Why should we have to explain ourselves really?

I  use to write status all the time about what was happen, in “on this day” I wrote “out and about” A LOT. I explained so much in status, which then went to twitter, then when blogging went to explaining whats been happening–like you actually care, like what I am saying is sooo important it’ll change your life. It won’t I’m not an idiot. But why do I do it? Maybe in hopes someone would care or out of fear no one would actually care. Here’s the thing people who do care know and the people who don’t don’t matter. Half the time people only care what your doing if your doing it wrong. 

So I am going to stop explaining myself. Because half the time its not needed and other time you are just trying to defend yourself to someone who has already made up their mind. I like to say make your assumptions you’ll be the ass. A challenge I like you to take is to stop yourself from explaining, stop yourself for telling, stop yourself for writing that twitter or status. See what happens.

I’ve been questioning blogging  especially blogging with instagram

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This whole month of October started out with being burnt out having to work two jobs, feeling so out of the loop and not feeling like I was doing GREAT with blogging. In my update after a year being back I said how I want to write. But after seeing my Stats and traffic with my blog–I wonder if blogging is worth it.

I really enjoy the little place I made on Instagram through blogging that I would have never done if I didn’t, I met some really cool people through it too.  However, there’s been this down slide of things where there is no engagement, traffic coming from to my blog I aim to get never happens. For none bloggers — its like that you shared this amazing thing on S.M and when you go back no one or your mom has liked it. It’s like that.  This is why I try to engage with other bloggers because I know thats what they want and know the feeling when it doesn’t happen.

Writing comes easy to me, I have endless ideas, my draft box is full-but to make sure they’re GREAT the time I put in them to make sure there is no mistakes is A LOT. I stress over content, figuring out how to promo it, I check my status, I see if anyone has commented/liked, etc.  For what, to realize no one is reading it, it hurts.

It is harder to get people to read your stuff, I get it–I find it hard to sit down and read to I’ve always had and when its online well you get into your circle of scrolling. I’m not here for the attention or the likes–I never been that person and to be honest I really never expected this many people to follow my blog SO I AM GRATEFUL sometimes a little overwhelmed.

Blogging isn’t my job but its more than a hobby.  I’m putting so much stress into blogging while working two jobs, & all that work into three different directions is HARD. That I wonder if I’m not getting the traffic and the connections I made are getting strain just like my friendships. It sucks to be 5,000 miles away. My BFF told me it would be a shame for me to get ride of my insta after all that progress, able to see my life journey over the past few years.

It’s selfish for me to stay here, but the point is I love it, I enjoy it–I enjoy it more then my actual personal accounts. Another con to keep instagram blog is fact that there is a game I’m not willing to play but I adresses that here.

 

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3 thoughts on “On my mind: No need to explain yourself

  1. Hi Kole, some time ago I tried reaching you about a collab but I’m not sure if my mail reached you? So I’m just checking up again with you here in the comments to see if you would be interested. If so you’re more than welcome to write me on laura@blogerize.com to hear some more! Thanks 🙂

    Like

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