Part 5: those messages girls get

I’ve held onto this one for awhile, and its a hard one, and I don’t want to get in the wrong either. This Bad Date is not going to be funny, the word dick pic will be used A LOT and that’s my ‘warning’ if you don’t want to read. 

Bad Dates Series A city Girl Story

In the wake of women standing  and speaking up against sexual harassment and sexual assault, what’s happening in Hollywood, everywhere else, in #metoo and recently one of my favourite bloggers Frassy called out the creepy men that message her; and me fearing to share my stuff because I “know” what will happen but all I want to do is be creative. So it’s time to talk about those catcalling, dick pics, and those messages you get from guys.

If a guy says something or does something that is offensive I’m going to call  him out and hope he apologizes- they usually don’t. If a guy is going to grab my butt, I will kick him. And suddenly I’m the bad person?? Once I watch a guy reach, a foot away, with his hand going for a girl under her skirt. I slapped it so fast and screamed NO! For some beeping reason, guys think this is okay to say, touch, do, message girls. I was listening to the podcast called Its Galz (when I got this idea for this post-MONTHS AGO) which talked about those demeaning, sexualised,  messages girls get FROM STRANGERS. They talked about how guys think just because a girl posted a cute, sexy selfie or snap doesn’t mean you can DM her and start sending crude rude messages to her. It happens, and with dating, it happens, way too often. You kind of wonder if there is actually a decent guy out there who isn’t going to send you a picture and you know exactly what it is before you even open it.

Don’t you take it as a compliment? a guy asked me on a date once.

We are taught to take it as a compliment. That when a guy wants to “fuck you on that bed” that this is a good thing. When you are trying to get to know a guy and all he is  wanting is to meet you up for the night, drive around in his car, calls you at 4 am in the morning waking you up from your sleep to “come over.” Sending you dick pics after your having a nice conversation. I once got a dick pic from a guy who took it under the desk while still in the library. I sent a message back saying “did you seriesly just send me that, while you are in the library?” AND HE DID IT AGAIN!!

IS SO MESSED UP! For god sakes, I didn’t ask you to send me a picture of your dick that I thought was your elbow! That random hi you get from a stranger in your DMS turns to him wanting your number. And when you tell him no, your the bad guy? Here’s a tip  for those guys: fuck off, keep your dick in your pants, and stopppp! No girl has asked for anything, no girl or anyone post or is talking to you for you the creepy guy who thinks its okay to be so DISGUSTING. That is sexual harassment, and in 2017 you really should stop.

Girls, its not our fault.

You posted that selfing because you posted it after you felt good about yourself and their comments belittle you down like your nothing. HOW DARE THEY! Pull a 180 after talking about joining you for a walk with their dog sending half-naked pictures of himself in the mirror like damn he had abs but like really we were having a nice conversation then you send me that video? But I saw it, and I couldn’t believe you SENT THE EXACT SAME one like was it saved or something??? There is so much a girl can fake with guys but when it comes to those messages, pictures, words, and actions. You can’t fake or go along with any longer.

A guy sending his dick isn’t flattery it’s degrading. Sending her messages out of the blue, telling her how she looks makes your horny, is horror. It sure isn’t sweet or romantic.  Thinking the way to a girls heart or to her bedroom is to talk down to her, make her feel worthless or feel worth it but then make her feel like scum. That is not okay, and we girls deserve better than this. We are more than a body to fuck and we are more than just something to look at; we are more than those pointless snaps of your dick!

Girls, don’t be afraid to speak your mind, to tell the guy who said you look fuckable to fuck off, don’t take those DMs or those catcalls as a compliment. Because it is harassment. I have this t-shirt that says “not yours”  and I wear it with pride because I’m sure in hell, not yours to honk at.

When you’re dating a guy what do you do when he does become a dick of a creep sending you pictures, and talking “dirty” but it isn’t dirty it’s degrading.

I think with online dating, social media, a guy asking you for your snap, ability to send pictures, DMS– that we don’t have to be smart about it we ALREADY ARE smart about it. That if they’re not going to teach boys we will!! To tell the guy you know what I didn’t ask for that dick pick and I showed all my friends & we had a great laugh. Hit the block button, say goodbye, and know if your dating a guy and all he’s doing is sending you dick picks and changing the subject into something sexual the guy’s a pig.

Not all guys are like this, people have their thoughts on “all” but I know decent guys, I was raised by one, the issue is that this has happened too many times, and it’s a big issue and it HAS BEEN. It just happens #metoo, the stories in the news, and more women calling out guys that FINALLY action might be taken place. Women/girls just want to feel free to be themselves and they really can’t when they share a picture and a guy comments saying “you have really blue eyes *wink(” And all I can say is “thanks I got them from my dad”.

There are so many stories out there, that are bigger than those message girls get, and for any girl (&boy) who has been taking advantage of, sexually harassed, sexually assaulted it is not your fault, it’s not my fault either. For the ones who shared their story, you bring change and voices to so many people. I hope one day we can live without this shame and blame of the victim and stop asking “what she was wearing.”

P.S for the guys (lads) we need you to teach, stand up, and go agents. Ask yourself where are you and where will you be on this issues?

I couldn’t hold onto this post any longer and I really do hope I did this post justice.

 

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