Bad Dates Part 9: he’s not calling

 Talking about how we need to stop bothering with guys who don’t answer you, don’t like you and use you. And stop asking what we can do.


I did this poll on insta of what you would do in a situation when you made some loose plans with a guy, but you haven’t talked to him in awhile, you don’t know the time or if you are still on. What do you do? Do you message him asking are we even on or just leave if because if he hasn’t said anything yet? Tons of people picked ask. I said the other and here is why.

From my experience and from watching the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. Guys will put the effort in if they like you. If they want to hang out with you. If he wants to talk to you. He will. Sure it never hurts to ask if still on, but you can kind of tell if it’s worth even saying. Well, I do at least.

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The guy who suddenly doesn’t want to talk to you

There have been guys I would hang out with almost every weekend, enjoy each other’s company and everything. But then after like a month, they have come to the conclusion they actually don’t like you or want to hang out with you. Those guys are the worst! And are really shit because they not only made you feel comfortable with having them around, they made you get used to talking to them, and ended it for no reason except for being such a p***y.

I have had two different guys tell me “I just don’t want to talk to you anymore” or “feel like talking” and I talk a lot! Not only is that the shittest thing to say to someone who talks a lot but it’s such an ass thing to do.

These guys who do things need to be honest, they need to be honest right from the start. And maybe they were. I’ve had a guy who I would always just end up hanging out with on a night out, it was a small place, and he would always keep telling me he didn’t want a relationship and I told him me either. But somehow my words seemed to go right through his tiny head. And if he was confused by my action well right back at him because he did grab me onto the dance floor.

These guys are guys you wish you didn’t bother with but pull you back. Your somewhere between okay if they don’t text you, wanting them to text you and wanting them to fuck off!

The real key to not bothering with these guys is to know when to walk away, when to not text them, and to not chase/let go. Because these guys don’t know either, they don’t know what they want, they can’t decide if they like you, they don’t want a relationship or start something. An indecisive guy isn’t worth your time.

Don’t bother with the fuck boys

The above guy could easily fall into the category, but that depends if he’s a guy you only see for a night, Calls you up out of the blue? Then he’s a guy that is using you and should 100% not bother even thinking about. Of course, you want to, and you want to use him too then go for it! There is no harm, and you know what you’re doing!

But do not put any time or tell this guy anything. Don’t get used to this guy. He’s a guy you honestly talk to when you’re bored, need some attention and want a good old booty all. There’s no shame in women wanting that! The minute this guy doesn’t answer your midnight call than you cut him off! And if he then calls you up? Tell him you can’t -always be on your terms!

That is the key to these fuck boys or guys that just use you it’s to know it’s happening, know where you stand and be okay with it. If your not okay with it or are on the same page you need to walk away because this guy isn’t going to change his mind and to him your just the girl he calls. I am going to talk more about these kinds of boys in a different post but know don’t bother getting used to a guy who is using you.

Don’t bother if he’s not texting you back

Now with dating apps, the only way to get to know the guy is through conversation and texting him. So what happens if he doesn’t talk back. The struggle and why I left is the fact that not only was it such small talking but when the conversation was going there was no answer, and when he did finally answer I have lost interest.  Low attention span might be a factor here.

My answer when you shouldn’t bother is, do you have something to say to him? Do you want to talk to him and if you text him will there be this worry that he won’t answer you back? Is he going to respond with “I don’t want to talk to you anymore more” “we need to talk because I think you are thinking something…” To be honest, if you’re just texting the guy and he’s responding in the day your good. But if your waiting 48 hours for a response and have to start it over with “Hey” then don’t bother.

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We bother because we crave human connection, we desire that person to spend time with, we desire that connection. But we shouldn’t bother with someone who isn’t interested in us, who only text or want to hang out with you on his own time, or uses you. It can be really hard, trust me, but it also can be empowering and make you feel good when you don’t text the guy, you tell the guy off, and you about your day without even saying a word to him. You feel like high fiving yourself.

What happened to that guy with plans on Friday. After asking if still on 48 hours later and no answer- say goodbye he ant worth your time!

 

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