Bad Dates Part 10: Why we shouldn’t waste our time on guys

Why are we wasting our time on a guy who isn’t texting us back?

Don’t bother if he isn’t texting you

Never go out of your way for anyone. I don’t care how cute he is. Like the saying goes… “Don’t bother with someone who doesn’t bother with you.”

I was in a long distance relationship, and I was such a fool of how much effort and time I put in to overcome the time difference and everything. When he could skype or call I dropped everything so I could see and talk to him.  Now being 26 years old, the experiences I’ve had -I know putting effort into someone who doesn’t put effort into you is NEVER okay. 

We all have been there, we have had that guy suddenly stops texting you. They opened your snaps but don’t snap you back when you actually made it directly towards them. And you are sitting there wondering if they are ever going to text you. Are they going to text back? Will they start the conversation or get a hold of you? Or is it up to you? And that’s it! That is the answer if they haven’t talked, reached out to you, ask you how that placement went because they know it has ended and they know how nervous and important it was for you if they haven’t talked to you in a week. DO NOT WASTE ANY MORE TIME! Any more thought, do not text him!

YES that realization hurts like hell because you actually liked this person, you made some sort of connection, you were enjoying their company and conversation. But here they are treating you like somebody that never mattered. Like after months of talking; they couldn’t be bothered with you anymore? My friend had told me guys are not worth the game, they are not worth the effort if they aren’t answering you. And I happen to 100% agree with him, however, I also know how hard it is! I understand the erage to just text him what’s the harm. I know that because I’ve been there. And I am telling you right now if he doesn’t wake up and answer the text, or only wants to see you when he needs something from you, and you were just asleep, and he woke you up at 3 am wanting to know if you were up. You tell him “its 3 am he better be dead!” This guy isn’t worth it, it will be sault in the won but you don’t want to keep dealing with guys who are giving you nothing. Who actually don’t see your worth or enjoy you as a person and want to talk to you. It takes nothing to text someone; yes can easily forget. I had a guy once was I text him and he text back saying he never sent the text, I mean if I hadn’t texted him would he have checked? Would he have text later? There really is no excuse not to text a person other than they don’t like you/don’t want to bother with you. There playing some game, the guys a wimp and an ass hole for treating you like that. So why should you text them?

I came up with this rule that after 48 hours if they haven’t messaged me back because it wasn’t like the conversation was dead or anything-they probably read it- then I will ‘unmatch them.’ I will begin the process in my head that the guy has fallen into a whole. Because even if the conversation was good, it never really ended and now you’re sitting there like should I text him, should I through him a checky snap? Sure you can, no harm really but like if the guy hasn’t text you back or if he hasn’t text you with a ‘hey hows it going’ than reality check!

I have to say “hey hows it going” like a fool chasing a guy who two weeks later read the text and forgot? Yeah, we deserve more than that. If a guy is treating you like this, he is not worth it!

Why I have given up on dating. 

I feel like I am sitting there with guys numbers, snapchat handles, and matches of guys and I have nothing to say to them, I have no interest to start even a conversation. Because I know it will lead nowhere, be small talk hell, or lead to this could have been a thing.  I am not young and up for the game of who can care less. So I have given up on dating. Because I am old and tired, I can not deal with the guy who tells you “oh I would date you but your leaving what’s the point….” It was fun and a laugh when I was 20 something but the now? I, you, we women, deserve more than a sometimes guy, a guy who can’t make up his a mind, and a guy who just suddenly stops texting you. We deserve the guy who treats us like we’re worth it!

If this is how dating is going to go, we got to get better at communication, or there is no hope. Because all the girls will just not be bothering with guys. Esp. If you’re feeling the same way, I am feeling.

Each to their own! You might have a different experience with guys. You might be married with a kid! Congrats but there some women out there in this dating pool and just entirely over these guys! But we are swapping on Tinder and get responses like “you like dogs how about Doggystyle.” GROSS!

From all my experience with guys, they are great, they are fun, but  having to deal with the gut retching, sault in the won, anxious feeling of guys who send you randomly facebook messages after weeks of silence saying “your in Cork” after not seeing you on the street but on Tinder, the guy you dated or were talking to who suddenly couldn’t care less about talking to you or seeing how you are doing- this guy is not worth it. You are worth the guy actually texting you back, asking you the next day how that one thing went. Even after weeks of not talking texting you asking how life is going not with “your cute” and a booty call! And if that is all guys have for me, then I got to go.

Now I don’t need a man to give me the confidence to know my worth or to feel good in my own skin, but it would be nice to be hit on by a guy the right way.