A City Girl Guide: What to do this Summer

A city girl guide to what to do for your Minnesota summer 

I haven’t had a proper Minnesota Summer in a long time. This one is going to be different not only is it my first summer back and I’m trying to find the best places; I’m still experience culture shock and trying to find where I  belong. But also I personally have some big decisions to figure out. So far I’ve done a few different things to make it the best summer it can be. Which I’ve shared on Instagram.

The best time to come to Minnesota is Summer; we spend about 6 months of the year inside that those summer months of being outside we use it up; there are events to movies in the park to concerts in the park to so much more. So if your coming to Minnesota plan to come to Minnesota with an empty suit case cause we have the biggest mall in Northern America–Mall of America and there are no tax on clothes! (selling it!)

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But really there is a lot more to do then shop. This list can be applied anywhere really.

What to do in Minnesota?

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  • Minnesota State Fair: its at the end of the summer but its probably the biggest most anticipate event of the whole summer. With food stands, food on sticks, music, horses, horse shows, pigs, cows, chicken and ducks, concerts, more food, rides, different booths with a lot of free stuff, car shows, tractor shows. Then there is the people watching; its a Minnesota event that you don’t want to miss.
  • Lakes: sure you can go on your boat, go tubbing, jet skying. But I live in the city and really getting thrown off or hit by a wave (from a boat) isn’t really ideal–i’d do it if I was invited; but more like hit those city lakes or rivers. Go sailing, paddle boarding, tube down the river is something I want to do. Minnesota is NOWHERE near a OCEAN we are the land of 10,000 lakes with dirt. But on those hot summer days. Lakes are what you got and time to enjoy before there is ice on them!
  • Parks: there are a lot of state parks around Minnesota to go and spend a nice afternoon; hike, have a picnic. Enjoy the outdoors. And for me a day in the outdoors is just fine.
  • ROAD TRIP: take a road trip to a small town; doesn’t have to be too far, could be a 20 minute drive outside the city (like Stillwater)  take the day, go somewhere small. Walk, sit in a pub, outside, have some food, a beer and some good conversation. Find the most random small town. I want to go to New Ulm cause they say its like Germany I been to Germany, lets check it out!Processed with VSCO with a5 preset
  • Brewers or Roof top bars: Brewers are big here; and really summer is a good time to enjoy yourself. So going to the brewers sitting on their decks; going to a roof top after work is a great way to spend the evening and enjoy the nice weather after being inside all day.
  • Spend a weekend up north: I loved when I went somewhere especially Galway or Killarney for the weekend. Here we have up north (Duluth) near lake superior. Rent an Airbnb and spend a weekend there; your even near a city there is Duluth.
  • Movies in the Park: I would spend a lot of my summers in Minnesota going to the movies in the park. They would have them all over the city parks a movie for the whole summer. Its a bit buggy, but so fun to have an evening out in the park watching a movie. There is also music in the park too.
  • Baseball game: If you every in America there is nothing like going to a baseball game. its something you have to do at least once maybe twice a summer.

And that’s the list. I plan to do more about guides to Minnesota esp. Twin cities of places and things to do. This is a BIG city, not as big as New York but bigger then Cork. Kind of why it can be overwhelming and feel lost at time. But I plan to do it by area so look out for those. My goal is to convince you  to come to Minnesota if your going to come visit the states. cause what I figure out not many tourist attractions or a place people know expect for Fargo but thats in North Dakota.

Spill it out: I don’t want to be a good influence.

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I don’t want to be a good influence because that’s too much pressure for me.

We all want to find something of ourselves in someone else, we find inspiration but we also find jealousy. I’ve had my experience of both.  We can’t help it but I think we should find more inspiration from others vs jealousy. Staying on track with how I don’t want to be a good influence. No one wants the there daughter to be dropping f-bombs but maybe they want someone their daughter can talk to, can give them advice. Giving inspiration and determination. And that is me.

No one is perfect, and I am far from it. I am 25 years old, not only do I swear, but I drink, I’ve gotten myself into situations I regret, I don’t eat my crust, I don’t listen, I’ve driven over the speed limit, I show more skin in winter & in summer and I talk back. I am a 25-year-old woman who is going to be a 25-year-old women. However, despite that I am someone girls can look up to. I understand my platform, I understand that people look up to me from the little one to my cousins to my peers. And I want them to. Because, as I grew up I didn’t really have that. I had a few but there was more I had to learn on my own or through friends that would be GREAT to have someone older to be there. Through blogging that’s my goal.

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There are topics I wanted to talk about on here that I stepped away from; like this post was going to be something completely different but I deleted out of fear of what people may think. Not about me more out of consideration of how others may react, and opinions, negative ones. I never want to offend. There are topics and subjects that are hard to talk about, one’s that are seen shameful or make people bashful. I personally, don’t mind talking about the topics but I feel more awkward when I know others don’t. I also 100% worry of being called names or opinions from outside voices just cause of a topic. Which just makes me more want to talk about it.

This is life, these things are happening in our lives; and the more we don’t talk about them the more we will either feel shame or there won’t be a change. They won’t be a lesson learned or even understatement.

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So, I’m going to talk about some things; you might not like them you might not agree with them. Hey, thats how the world works and that is fine. But don’t shame or be mean to someone because of that. We hear/see it so often people comments, people being opinionated towards who we are, what we do etc in life and online.  Great fantastic– like the random people on the beach when I was having one of the most frustration moments of my nanny life with a dog and a ball telling me what to do–I will tell you what I told them–go away. I won’t be a good influence cause I will never meet others standers nor will I want to.

When I nannied the best feeling in the world was knowing that I impacted her (&him) vs verse to me as well. The moment she says she learned it from me even if it was “probably shouldn’t have taught her that” like “that’s my name don’t wear it out.” That honestly was the best feeling. I know I’m no one, nor do I want to be, but if I can change (impact) girls in a way that makes them into empowering, driven, independent girls who have no fear of being who they are. Then I will be happy.

What I will be isn’t a good influence but I will be someone to look up to.

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Self Tanning routine

I have never been one to go to tanning salons it wasn’t until I was living in Ireland and putting on tan before a night out that it became a thing.  I didn’t or will never do the tanning beds for all I can think of was my Professor telling a girl “you tan, well you’re going to be my built” Horrible but true. And spray tans just were a risk of orange.  And it was one of those things that I could do myself. I also enjoy doing it. Now that I’m back stateside with hot summers to lay out and be in a suit all day there is really no need to use self-tanner but I’ve been meaning to do this post for awhile so here it is.

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Products I use:

Note: self tanner is expensive here its a luxery not a necessary

My top Tanner I love is the Rimmel Mouse in Mediam dark–not sold in America-its what I used a lot. Before I used Sally Hansen spray for legs; which only lasted for the night. Mouses last up to 7 days. When I got back to the states I wasn’t willing to spend 20 or more on self tanner–we know how I feel about spending money on products. So Target did have self-tanner in Sally HansenJergens. 11.99 is still a killer compared to the 9 euros you spend on tanner in Penny’s. The Jergens (picture below) is alright probably my least favourite mouse I’ve used.  I got “light” and its hard to know where the tan is going; so when it drys and time to wash off there are spots I’ve clearly missed. And it can go orange real fast which I haven’t experience ever before with mouses. My new favourite up there with Rimmel is Coco brown. NOT SOLD HERE! If you saw my instagram you would know the story about me and coco brown and why I’m so behind. But I bought it and I actually loved it. I don’t know if it beats Rimmel for me but its up there.

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The reason why I like mouse better then a spray or a lotion is how easy it apply’s. You can (usually) see where you are applying it, it sinks into the skin nicely, it last 7 days, it easily builds.  And it does have extra that after it settles you have to wash it off–which sometimes I do forget. I have applied mouse tan on hours before I went out and didn’t wash it off–and I looked fine. Its only when I do it the night before and sleep is usually when I have to do it; but thats cause I’m a hot sleeper.

I do use a scrub from Soap and Glory along with their body butter. I like the scrub cause I feel like it does a really good job and makes my skin soft afterwords; hardly a mess. And the body butter OMG this stuff sinks in the skin and I wake up with the smoothest skin. I LOVE SOAP AND GLORY!

Routine

For putting on tan you really have to plan at least three days in advance. Because you really don’t want to shave the day of putting on tan; its not good it stings. Usually if I was going to go out…

  • Wednesday: shower like normal and shave
  • Thursday: touch ups on spots I’ve missed, use the Soap and Glory scrub and body butter after.
  • Friday: Wash, scrub no body butter. Apply tan after dry off And let it sit while I do my make up.

 

 

 

I recently learned that if you put lotion on spots that really don’t take tan well like under arm, knees, elbows hands; that really helps.

Usually I don’t reapply unless there is something important happening in middle of the week. But I usually let the 7 days go; and either the day before I’m going to shave I start to scrub the tan off. And then start the routine over again.

That is pretty much it. I actually love putting on tan and getting ready; it so relaxing, its fun. When you put that effort and time in you really putting time and effort in yourself! Which brings happiness and love. Like I said I used self tanner a lot more in Ireland and now in winter. But now that its summer state side and the sun in bowling hot like!  I rather have a natural tan and I really don’t feel like I get that when I put on self tanner.

Let me know if this was helpful or you would like more what I do like how I study, what’s my make up routine, etc. Comment below.

 

A City Girl Review: Asking For It by Louise O’Neill

A book you should be reading….

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In Asking For It, Louise O’Neill explores a topic that most people would rather not talk about. She brilliantly portrays a young girl who has been raped and the subsequent psychological trauma she’s forced to endure. O’Neill has us confront the reality of sexual assault, victim blaming, and consent, and what it is like to go through these things as a victim. She also touches on generational differences, the impact of social media on society and modern perceptions of women.  

O’Neill, from West Cork, Ireland, is an Irish novelist who is no stranger to diving into controversial social issues in her writing. Her first novel Only Ever Yours is a dystopian story in which girls are bred to please men. Asking For It focuses on 18 year old Emma O’Donovan, an unlikeable young woman who craves attention and isn’t nice to her friends. She flirts with all the boys, even her friend’s boyfriend. Emma goes to a party and  wakes with no idea what happened but feels uneasy. Then photographs start to surface of her and it comes clear of what happen. She was raped by a group of boys. Instead of being seen as the victim she is called a liar, slut, a girl who asked for it.  

  I first came across O’Neill’s book while at graduate school in Ireland. My friends were talking about a novel they had to read for class called Asking for It. As they told me about it I thought about how a book about such a sensitive topic would never have been assigned in a class in the states. A few months later, I finally picked it up the book and wasn’t ready for what was about to come.  

The book progresses through Emma’s life before and after she’s raped and we learn her thoughts and experiences what she is going through and how the assault affects her physically and emotionally. We come to understand what Emma is going through; she feels,​“My body is not my own any more. They have stamped their names all over it.”   

Emma’s story is hard to read but its one you need to read.

 O’Neill did extant research on Asking For It to make sure the story she was writing was real one. And it is very real, sexual assault, rape and the culture that enables it is real. And it is something every culture needs to address.  O’Neill continues to speak out about the topics she explores in Asking For It. She wrote a documentary, Asking For It?: Reality Bites, which aired on RTE2 on November 1, 2016. Asking For It has been placed on many best-selling lists and was the Irish Times Book of the Month in September 2015; The American Library Association awarded it a Michael L. Printz Honor for excellence in literature written for young adults and it is included on many college must reads.  

Even though the book takes place in Ireland, its themes are universal. It is critical that we open up dialogue about what factors contribute to rape culture,causes sexual assault and what can be done to change it from happening. We need to talk about rape and consent and affirm that women are treated better as victims of sexual assaults. We need to understand how rape affects an individual’s physical and emotional well being. We need to recognize and attempt to understand the conflicts that will arise within friendships and families.  And this novel does just that.  We need more books like Asking For It.

I actually got to meet Louise during my placement it was such a real experience. She informed me on so much with advise and you can see her passion and drive. Also met Lisa McInerney (pictured below). I was so nervous and excited about my internship especially when the Tuesday would come and fiction writers would come! 13653187_10154230644803463_8092185432130690256_o

 

 

 

 

A day in life of a city girl living in a big city.

I wanted to write this so when someone stubbles on my blog they get a little more. Also this is in relations to a out of blue post I did called “Today was a good day”. This post really focuses on the contrast of life abroad to here. 

I wrote this post Today was a good day, after having this best friendly experience in Benefits and Only. I am someone who is just trying to find her place and feel important, like anyone else. and while living in Ireland I got a lot of that, while here not so much. It’s so go-go there is no time to learn someone’s name.

 

Like the other day I walk into Sephora and they were friendly but they weren’t going to sit down and be like lets do make up. Or booking something was so many hoops-two weeks in advance I understand but when asking to book it–honestly it didn’t feel easy it felt like a hassle basically. Compared to when I did it in Benefit after buying something it was like “how about this day” no problem. And even when one time it did screw up–I felt this unease frustrating, “not worthy” feeling and walked out. When I came back they felt so bad, they sat me down right away. And I was right back to feeling like this girl was my BFF again.

 

There was this sense of friendship and connections I made while living in Ireland like every place I went was “my place” (not in a childish that’s mine) but there was a sense of belonging.  While here I can’t tweet a local pub (bar) and even get a response, the person at a counter is trying to sell me something or spray perfume in my face. I go into coffee shops and they smile, but they smile at me. While living abroad having the bar tender know my name; or even have a conversation with me, being in a store and chatting with me, making friends on twitter or even having the library and Rearden’s interact with me on social media, not only made me feel good it is what made me go to them.   Now here it seems it’s just a place and I’m just a girl. Read Tody was a good day.

 

After living abroad, my mind really open up not only seeing what others saw but also experience other ways of living life. And I learned something. Here stores open at 10 and close at 9; stores abroad open by 9 and close by 6; you catch the bus, travel by train. Going to the local pub on a week day at 8 pm is normal.  Not saying Ireland or any place is perfect; what I’m saying is maybe they have the right idea of how to live and do life with being easy going and on the whole not tipping thing. What I’m really saying is….We are always in crowded places, stuck in rush hour traffic, trying to be the first one of  something or off the free way. Such a hustle and bustle. And that really is the main thing.

 

adayinlifeIt’s time to take our time, really have a conversation with the bar tender, get to know the person you randomly sat down next to, close down shops early, and really focus on what is important. I’m a city girl trying to find her place in this big place.

 

 

 

 

Let’s talk about mental health: a guide to getting yourself through.

I know it’s not mental health month anymore so I’m behind but I didn’t know if I wanted to write this or how I wanted to write this.

We all have our own mental health story but we all feel the same way towards it (maybe I don’t want to put anything on anyway);we don’t feel like ourselves, we feel silly after and seem crazy. But we aren’t. I never saw my mental health as an issue and personally, I never really talked about it cause I don’t want pity. So I would just brush it off like saying “i’m fine” and giving people nothing when they ask why. But here it is.

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I never realize I had mental health and need to take care of myself until I had a year that I call my dark time. Then I realize this was something I’ve been going through my whole life and needed not only take care of but also understand and know I have no shame towards it. For me, I have anxiety and depression. Also, my brain gets best of me and I have trouble handling things that lead to extreme outburst and panic attacks. And lately, my mental health has been challenged. So, I’ve been having more bad days and moments than good. Which is hard cause it not only reminds me of that dark time but also I know I’m a strong person and know what I can do; yet it seems to not be enough; the bad still keeps hitting me.

I’ve had two major moments where my mental health was at its worst at 10 years old and at 21. I’ve seen the worst, I have memories and feelings that come to me; reminding me. I know where bad is and I know how to get through it but also where I never want to end up. To make sure I don’t end up back in a “dark time” I do things, I keep myself motivated and filled with positives, I fuck the negativity and sometimes that included people and I have the BEST mother in the WORLD. I’ve tried therapy but my personality just didn’t fit. What do I do then? Well I created a list that I hope may help someone else who is going through some bad days, dark days. Below. Remember: you are strong & beautiful.

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How to get out of them is easier said than done but here is a list of things I do to get myself feeling better or good again.

List of things to do to help you through:

  • Take walks or get out of the house. Getting out of the house, getting some fresh air is the perfect way to have some time. Remember to breath in & out.
  • Disconnect from social media and your phone. Don’t look at phone especially if you wake up and you feel it’s going to be one of those days walk away from the phone
  • Do something that makes you feel good. Even if it’s taking a shower or brushing your hair.
  • Read more. I think grabbing that good book really can be a good distracting and let yourself go into a different world
  • Write. Either its dear diary scribbles on side of notes, or writing a story. Writing down can get those thoughts out of your head.
  • Go into your own little world. Put on the noise cancel headphones and listen to those songs that fill you with joy and happiness.
  • Take your camera and go chase some sunsets. Like the first one; I think the best way to get going especially when you feel it coming is to go on an adventure and take some pictures
  • Lay down. When I hit that point of a breakdown; my best thing I  do is just sit in my tub. ITs weird, I honestly sit there with my clothes on and just talk to myself. Like taking a relaxing bath just no water or clothes.
  • Workout. A lot of the time my energy is built up and I need to let it out so I work out.
  • Hang out with the people that know you and can really be there for you.
  • Take the evening to relax. Have one of those me time nights. Put on a face mask, some Gilmore Girls; keep your phone away, and just enjoy a relaxing night in.
  • Sleep and repeat.

These are things I do before the ‘storm’ during the storm, and after the storm; it really depends on how I’m feeling and what is going to be helpful in that moment. I know I’m the person when someone tells me “oh you’ll get over it” or anything that isn’t helpful just makes it worst. This list is a suggestion, some things you might not have tried and could work for you.  A lot of times you do (I do at least) feel silly cause after the storm you feel fine like what happen wasn’t even necessary. But, don’t feel stupid because what you went through and going through was necessary to get to the rainbow!

Mental health is a battle; sometimes it takes a day, sometimes it lasts a whole week. But keep going and try different things; don’t put yourself in a situation that are going to negatively affect you. And if something isn’t working, drop it and walk away. You may not feel like yourself but you’ll soon feel like yourself or a total new person!Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

I find with blogging and being open like this I’m helping that little girl who didn’t understand what was going on in her head or that 20 something girl who needs to know someone out there understands. Talking about mental health breaks the stigma. What someone is going through is there’s. Reminder: you don’t know what someone is going through.  A lot of time people can say “they understand” when they really don’t. What we need to do is talk about them, be there for our friends and loved ones; to not run away but to be there, show support cause when they talk to you they don’t want pity what they want is to talk.   For the girls (&boys) going through the battle of mental health remember that you are strong every day!

I’m no professional I’m a girl who’s living and getting by with a war in her mind (did that rhyme that felt like it rhymed)

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Disclaimer: I’m no way an expert, I never learned this in school, I’m not educated. Terms idk. And I’m taking from my perspective, what my mental health is and what I do. There is more to mental health then what I talking about. If you or someone you know are struggling with depression, mental illness, or suicidal thoughts, please reach out—to family, friends, mental health professionals, or crisis workers. In the United States and Canada, you can call the 24-hour, toll-free National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

The 1.0.1 on Make Up for the every day City Girl.

This is something I felt was missing from searching about Make up; this is 101 guide to make up…

I never been one for doing my make up growing up. But in the last three years and watching youtube channels I became more into it; I began to like it and find needing something to do. And in all the hype of make up, also with stores like Sephora or Boots can really get you spending money and overload on products you might not even use or work for you.   I’m not a make up expert but I feel like in my searches of make up, watch tutorials, swatches on my hand I still couldn’t find what I was looking for in my search. So I came up with this a break down to make up; tips, products and more. This a simple 101 guide to make up for the every day girl; some may know this stuff already so you can skip.

EDIT: note that this blog post ends where I didn’t think it would end. Because I am not a beauty experet, make up was something I just couldn’t talk about, there was no right adjective, it was something I just fell into and liked doing.

Break down to Make up: categories, types, and more

There are three categories to make up Face, Eyes, Lips.  The key to make up is don’t need much its just face, eyes, lips you can easily add in checks as well to give yourself colour.

If you are starting out with make up I say the one thing you should focus is on your face; because at 13 years old up until your 20s your biggest confidence and insecurey will be your face and those spots.  As you get older your going to have to add in probably more to your routine you will need that BB cream. For now buy yourself some bubble gum flavour lip balm .  Here is a little guide you can print or pin….

Break down to Make up

More to make up…

You start off with keeping make up simple but what if you want to go a little further in your make up and really don’t understand where to go. It’s time to make it a little bit more complicated. I went through things I didn’t know and googled and put the answers here:

  •  BB cream is like a foundation but less coverage; it evens out skin tones.
  • Tinted moizerizor is you know how they say to moizeriz your face–that but with colour in it.
  • What is Contouring exactly? its basically shaping your face. the only way to really look silly and avoid looking too clown or too bronzer is to blend and don’t layer them up (my opinion).
  • Highlighter is to bring light to your face. You really want something that fits your skin before the foundation.
  •  Bronzer makes you less of a ghost; like contouring your shaping your face but on the edges and check bones. Again don’t forget to blend and don’t layer up.
  • Powder products they are more dry baste to give you more of a mate finish (you won’t look like you are sweating)
  • When working with foundation think of it as a base and each product with a different purpose. There are contouring, highlighting, bronzer, and somehow they are different colours, texturs. And if your anything like me thinking what are these things and do I have to have them?

There are defiantly different types of people but I think in all of the hype, stores and world of make up go for things that you are liking, textur, fits your skin and really play around, I told you I’m not a beauty expert. Confuse in all the BB creams. foundations and highlighters the bottom line what make up do you actually need DEPENDS ON YOU! 

 I wanted to write this blog post to put a different voice out there, to talk about types of make up and break down make up because it can get confusing a lot of the time. Because a lot of time I’m confuse, and thinking about I was 14 years old at the beginning of 21 centry with no bloggers or youtubes like I would want a post like this. Telling me not what to buy, but the basic of make up. And I think I did that. I would LOVE to write about what I use but like I said in my EDIT make up is just something I do. This was my way of talking about make up and it’s not suppose to get “controversial” either its just a different voice to the mix of make up post.