Spill it out: I don’t want to be a good influence.

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I don’t want to be a good influence because that’s too much pressure for me.

We all want to find something of ourselves in someone else, we find inspiration but we also find jealousy. I’ve had my experience of both.  We can’t help it but I think we should find more inspiration from others vs jealousy. Staying on track with how I don’t want to be a good influence. No one wants the there daughter to be dropping f-bombs but maybe they want someone their daughter can talk to, can give them advice. Giving inspiration and determination. And that is me.

No one is perfect, and I am far from it. I am 25 years old, not only do I swear, but I drink, I’ve gotten myself into situations I regret, I don’t eat my crust, I don’t listen, I’ve driven over the speed limit, I show more skin in winter & in summer and I talk back. I am a 25-year-old woman who is going to be a 25-year-old women. However, despite that I am someone girls can look up to. I understand my platform, I understand that people look up to me from the little one to my cousins to my peers. And I want them to. Because, as I grew up I didn’t really have that. I had a few but there was more I had to learn on my own or through friends that would be GREAT to have someone older to be there. Through blogging that’s my goal.

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There are topics I wanted to talk about on here that I stepped away from; like this post was going to be something completely different but I deleted out of fear of what people may think. Not about me more out of consideration of how others may react, and opinions, negative ones. I never want to offend. There are topics and subjects that are hard to talk about, one’s that are seen shameful or make people bashful. I personally, don’t mind talking about the topics but I feel more awkward when I know others don’t. I also 100% worry of being called names or opinions from outside voices just cause of a topic. Which just makes me more want to talk about it.

This is life, these things are happening in our lives; and the more we don’t talk about them the more we will either feel shame or there won’t be a change. They won’t be a lesson learned or even understatement.

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So, I’m going to talk about some things; you might not like them you might not agree with them. Hey, thats how the world works and that is fine. But don’t shame or be mean to someone because of that. We hear/see it so often people comments, people being opinionated towards who we are, what we do etc in life and online.  Great fantastic– like the random people on the beach when I was having one of the most frustration moments of my nanny life with a dog and a ball telling me what to do–I will tell you what I told them–go away. I won’t be a good influence cause I will never meet others standers nor will I want to.

When I nannied the best feeling in the world was knowing that I impacted her (&him) vs verse to me as well. The moment she says she learned it from me even if it was “probably shouldn’t have taught her that” like “that’s my name don’t wear it out.” That honestly was the best feeling. I know I’m no one, nor do I want to be, but if I can change (impact) girls in a way that makes them into empowering, driven, independent girls who have no fear of being who they are. Then I will be happy.

What I will be isn’t a good influence but I will be someone to look up to.

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Self Tanning routine

I have never been one to go to tanning salons it wasn’t until I was living in Ireland and putting on tan before a night out that it became a thing.  I didn’t or will never do the tanning beds for all I can think of was my Professor telling a girl “you tan, well you’re going to be my built” Horrible but true. And spray tans just were a risk of orange.  And it was one of those things that I could do myself. I also enjoy doing it. Now that I’m back stateside with hot summers to lay out and be in a suit all day there is really no need to use self-tanner but I’ve been meaning to do this post for awhile so here it is.

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Products I use:

Note: self tanner is expensive here its a luxery not a necessary

My top Tanner I love is the Rimmel Mouse in Mediam dark–not sold in America-its what I used a lot. Before I used Sally Hansen spray for legs; which only lasted for the night. Mouses last up to 7 days. When I got back to the states I wasn’t willing to spend 20 or more on self tanner–we know how I feel about spending money on products. So Target did have self-tanner in Sally HansenJergens. 11.99 is still a killer compared to the 9 euros you spend on tanner in Penny’s. The Jergens (picture below) is alright probably my least favourite mouse I’ve used.  I got “light” and its hard to know where the tan is going; so when it drys and time to wash off there are spots I’ve clearly missed. And it can go orange real fast which I haven’t experience ever before with mouses. My new favourite up there with Rimmel is Coco brown. NOT SOLD HERE! If you saw my instagram you would know the story about me and coco brown and why I’m so behind. But I bought it and I actually loved it. I don’t know if it beats Rimmel for me but its up there.

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The reason why I like mouse better then a spray or a lotion is how easy it apply’s. You can (usually) see where you are applying it, it sinks into the skin nicely, it last 7 days, it easily builds.  And it does have extra that after it settles you have to wash it off–which sometimes I do forget. I have applied mouse tan on hours before I went out and didn’t wash it off–and I looked fine. Its only when I do it the night before and sleep is usually when I have to do it; but thats cause I’m a hot sleeper.

I do use a scrub from Soap and Glory along with their body butter. I like the scrub cause I feel like it does a really good job and makes my skin soft afterwords; hardly a mess. And the body butter OMG this stuff sinks in the skin and I wake up with the smoothest skin. I LOVE SOAP AND GLORY!

Routine

For putting on tan you really have to plan at least three days in advance. Because you really don’t want to shave the day of putting on tan; its not good it stings. Usually if I was going to go out…

  • Wednesday: shower like normal and shave
  • Thursday: touch ups on spots I’ve missed, use the Soap and Glory scrub and body butter after.
  • Friday: Wash, scrub no body butter. Apply tan after dry off And let it sit while I do my make up.

 

 

 

I recently learned that if you put lotion on spots that really don’t take tan well like under arm, knees, elbows hands; that really helps.

Usually I don’t reapply unless there is something important happening in middle of the week. But I usually let the 7 days go; and either the day before I’m going to shave I start to scrub the tan off. And then start the routine over again.

That is pretty much it. I actually love putting on tan and getting ready; it so relaxing, its fun. When you put that effort and time in you really putting time and effort in yourself! Which brings happiness and love. Like I said I used self tanner a lot more in Ireland and now in winter. But now that its summer state side and the sun in bowling hot like!  I rather have a natural tan and I really don’t feel like I get that when I put on self tanner.

Let me know if this was helpful or you would like more what I do like how I study, what’s my make up routine, etc. Comment below.

 

A City Girl Review: Asking For It by Louise O’Neill

A book you should be reading….

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In Asking For It, Louise O’Neill explores a topic that most people would rather not talk about. She brilliantly portrays a young girl who has been raped and the subsequent psychological trauma she’s forced to endure. O’Neill has us confront the reality of sexual assault, victim blaming, and consent, and what it is like to go through these things as a victim. She also touches on generational differences, the impact of social media on society and modern perceptions of women.  

O’Neill, from West Cork, Ireland, is an Irish novelist who is no stranger to diving into controversial social issues in her writing. Her first novel Only Ever Yours is a dystopian story in which girls are bred to please men. Asking For It focuses on 18 year old Emma O’Donovan, an unlikeable young woman who craves attention and isn’t nice to her friends. She flirts with all the boys, even her friend’s boyfriend. Emma goes to a party and  wakes with no idea what happened but feels uneasy. Then photographs start to surface of her and it comes clear of what happen. She was raped by a group of boys. Instead of being seen as the victim she is called a liar, slut, a girl who asked for it.  

  I first came across O’Neill’s book while at graduate school in Ireland. My friends were talking about a novel they had to read for class called Asking for It. As they told me about it I thought about how a book about such a sensitive topic would never have been assigned in a class in the states. A few months later, I finally picked it up the book and wasn’t ready for what was about to come.  

The book progresses through Emma’s life before and after she’s raped and we learn her thoughts and experiences what she is going through and how the assault affects her physically and emotionally. We come to understand what Emma is going through; she feels,​“My body is not my own any more. They have stamped their names all over it.”   

Emma’s story is hard to read but its one you need to read.

 O’Neill did extant research on Asking For It to make sure the story she was writing was real one. And it is very real, sexual assault, rape and the culture that enables it is real. And it is something every culture needs to address.  O’Neill continues to speak out about the topics she explores in Asking For It. She wrote a documentary, Asking For It?: Reality Bites, which aired on RTE2 on November 1, 2016. Asking For It has been placed on many best-selling lists and was the Irish Times Book of the Month in September 2015; The American Library Association awarded it a Michael L. Printz Honor for excellence in literature written for young adults and it is included on many college must reads.  

Even though the book takes place in Ireland, its themes are universal. It is critical that we open up dialogue about what factors contribute to rape culture,causes sexual assault and what can be done to change it from happening. We need to talk about rape and consent and affirm that women are treated better as victims of sexual assaults. We need to understand how rape affects an individual’s physical and emotional well being. We need to recognize and attempt to understand the conflicts that will arise within friendships and families.  And this novel does just that.  We need more books like Asking For It.

I actually got to meet Louise during my placement it was such a real experience. She informed me on so much with advise and you can see her passion and drive. Also met Lisa McInerney (pictured below). I was so nervous and excited about my internship especially when the Tuesday would come and fiction writers would come! 13653187_10154230644803463_8092185432130690256_o

 

 

 

 

Let’s talk about mental health: a guide to getting yourself through.

I know it’s not mental health month anymore so I’m behind but I didn’t know if I wanted to write this or how I wanted to write this.

We all have our own mental health story but we all feel the same way towards it (maybe I don’t want to put anything on anyway);we don’t feel like ourselves, we feel silly after and seem crazy. But we aren’t. I never saw my mental health as an issue and personally, I never really talked about it cause I don’t want pity. So I would just brush it off like saying “i’m fine” and giving people nothing when they ask why. But here it is.

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I never realize I had mental health and need to take care of myself until I had a year that I call my dark time. Then I realize this was something I’ve been going through my whole life and needed not only take care of but also understand and know I have no shame towards it. For me, I have anxiety and depression. Also, my brain gets best of me and I have trouble handling things that lead to extreme outburst and panic attacks. And lately, my mental health has been challenged. So, I’ve been having more bad days and moments than good. Which is hard cause it not only reminds me of that dark time but also I know I’m a strong person and know what I can do; yet it seems to not be enough; the bad still keeps hitting me.

I’ve had two major moments where my mental health was at its worst at 10 years old and at 21. I’ve seen the worst, I have memories and feelings that come to me; reminding me. I know where bad is and I know how to get through it but also where I never want to end up. To make sure I don’t end up back in a “dark time” I do things, I keep myself motivated and filled with positives, I fuck the negativity and sometimes that included people and I have the BEST mother in the WORLD. I’ve tried therapy but my personality just didn’t fit. What do I do then? Well I created a list that I hope may help someone else who is going through some bad days, dark days. Below. Remember: you are strong & beautiful.

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How to get out of them is easier said than done but here is a list of things I do to get myself feeling better or good again.

List of things to do to help you through:

  • Take walks or get out of the house. Getting out of the house, getting some fresh air is the perfect way to have some time. Remember to breath in & out.
  • Disconnect from social media and your phone. Don’t look at phone especially if you wake up and you feel it’s going to be one of those days walk away from the phone
  • Do something that makes you feel good. Even if it’s taking a shower or brushing your hair.
  • Read more. I think grabbing that good book really can be a good distracting and let yourself go into a different world
  • Write. Either its dear diary scribbles on side of notes, or writing a story. Writing down can get those thoughts out of your head.
  • Go into your own little world. Put on the noise cancel headphones and listen to those songs that fill you with joy and happiness.
  • Take your camera and go chase some sunsets. Like the first one; I think the best way to get going especially when you feel it coming is to go on an adventure and take some pictures
  • Lay down. When I hit that point of a breakdown; my best thing I  do is just sit in my tub. ITs weird, I honestly sit there with my clothes on and just talk to myself. Like taking a relaxing bath just no water or clothes.
  • Workout. A lot of the time my energy is built up and I need to let it out so I work out.
  • Hang out with the people that know you and can really be there for you.
  • Take the evening to relax. Have one of those me time nights. Put on a face mask, some Gilmore Girls; keep your phone away, and just enjoy a relaxing night in.
  • Sleep and repeat.

These are things I do before the ‘storm’ during the storm, and after the storm; it really depends on how I’m feeling and what is going to be helpful in that moment. I know I’m the person when someone tells me “oh you’ll get over it” or anything that isn’t helpful just makes it worst. This list is a suggestion, some things you might not have tried and could work for you.  A lot of times you do (I do at least) feel silly cause after the storm you feel fine like what happen wasn’t even necessary. But, don’t feel stupid because what you went through and going through was necessary to get to the rainbow!

Mental health is a battle; sometimes it takes a day, sometimes it lasts a whole week. But keep going and try different things; don’t put yourself in a situation that are going to negatively affect you. And if something isn’t working, drop it and walk away. You may not feel like yourself but you’ll soon feel like yourself or a total new person!Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

I find with blogging and being open like this I’m helping that little girl who didn’t understand what was going on in her head or that 20 something girl who needs to know someone out there understands. Talking about mental health breaks the stigma. What someone is going through is there’s. Reminder: you don’t know what someone is going through.  A lot of time people can say “they understand” when they really don’t. What we need to do is talk about them, be there for our friends and loved ones; to not run away but to be there, show support cause when they talk to you they don’t want pity what they want is to talk.   For the girls (&boys) going through the battle of mental health remember that you are strong every day!

I’m no professional I’m a girl who’s living and getting by with a war in her mind (did that rhyme that felt like it rhymed)

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Disclaimer: I’m no way an expert, I never learned this in school, I’m not educated. Terms idk. And I’m taking from my perspective, what my mental health is and what I do. There is more to mental health then what I talking about. If you or someone you know are struggling with depression, mental illness, or suicidal thoughts, please reach out—to family, friends, mental health professionals, or crisis workers. In the United States and Canada, you can call the 24-hour, toll-free National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

The 1.0.1 on Make Up for the every day City Girl.

This is something I felt was missing from searching about Make up; this is 101 guide to make up…

I never been one for doing my make up growing up. But in the last three years and watching youtube channels I became more into it; I began to like it and find needing something to do. And in all the hype of make up, also with stores like Sephora or Boots can really get you spending money and overload on products you might not even use or work for you.   I’m not a make up expert but I feel like in my searches of make up, watch tutorials, swatches on my hand I still couldn’t find what I was looking for in my search. So I came up with this a break down to make up; tips, products and more. This a simple 101 guide to make up for the every day girl; some may know this stuff already so you can skip.

EDIT: note that this blog post ends where I didn’t think it would end. Because I am not a beauty experet, make up was something I just couldn’t talk about, there was no right adjective, it was something I just fell into and liked doing.

Break down to Make up: categories, types, and more

There are three categories to make up Face, Eyes, Lips.  The key to make up is don’t need much its just face, eyes, lips you can easily add in checks as well to give yourself colour.

If you are starting out with make up I say the one thing you should focus is on your face; because at 13 years old up until your 20s your biggest confidence and insecurey will be your face and those spots.  As you get older your going to have to add in probably more to your routine you will need that BB cream. For now buy yourself some bubble gum flavour lip balm .  Here is a little guide you can print or pin….

Break down to Make up

More to make up…

You start off with keeping make up simple but what if you want to go a little further in your make up and really don’t understand where to go. It’s time to make it a little bit more complicated. I went through things I didn’t know and googled and put the answers here:

  •  BB cream is like a foundation but less coverage; it evens out skin tones.
  • Tinted moizerizor is you know how they say to moizeriz your face–that but with colour in it.
  • What is Contouring exactly? its basically shaping your face. the only way to really look silly and avoid looking too clown or too bronzer is to blend and don’t layer them up (my opinion).
  • Highlighter is to bring light to your face. You really want something that fits your skin before the foundation.
  •  Bronzer makes you less of a ghost; like contouring your shaping your face but on the edges and check bones. Again don’t forget to blend and don’t layer up.
  • Powder products they are more dry baste to give you more of a mate finish (you won’t look like you are sweating)
  • When working with foundation think of it as a base and each product with a different purpose. There are contouring, highlighting, bronzer, and somehow they are different colours, texturs. And if your anything like me thinking what are these things and do I have to have them?

There are defiantly different types of people but I think in all of the hype, stores and world of make up go for things that you are liking, textur, fits your skin and really play around, I told you I’m not a beauty expert. Confuse in all the BB creams. foundations and highlighters the bottom line what make up do you actually need DEPENDS ON YOU! 

 I wanted to write this blog post to put a different voice out there, to talk about types of make up and break down make up because it can get confusing a lot of the time. Because a lot of time I’m confuse, and thinking about I was 14 years old at the beginning of 21 centry with no bloggers or youtubes like I would want a post like this. Telling me not what to buy, but the basic of make up. And I think I did that. I would LOVE to write about what I use but like I said in my EDIT make up is just something I do. This was my way of talking about make up and it’s not suppose to get “controversial” either its just a different voice to the mix of make up post.

 

Top 6 Tips to be Summer Ready

memorial weekend is here; I haven’t had one in three summers and back in high school it  meant summer was almost here thus it was time to get “summer ready”. Here are some city girl tips on how to be summer ready…

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If you been watching pop TV shows, reading magazines, or blogs you will be seeing a lot of summer ready themed things. For me I never got summer ready it just meant I could wear shorts and sit outside and drink a cider. Life felt a lot more exciting and thrilling with summer. And those phrases like “summer body” or “getting swim suit ready” never really clicked with me but for someone else they could have–and not so positive either. Add those phrases that society needs to delete. Some may joke about getting summer body ready or how they will eat a pizza no matter what–some might not actually be joking. We all want to feel good in ourselves and our skin and its not just a seasonal thing either. But since summer is here and we are going to the beach or cabin more here are some top 6 tips on getting for “summer read” the self positive way…

Top 6 Tips to be Summer Ready


  1. My number one is to do something that makes you  feel good in your skin; if thats working out or eating. I am not one for diets; yes I don’t eat meat anymore but thats for health reasons. I always tell people is if you don’t feel good do something about it.  That is what I did; I started to work out, I stop drinking soda. Summer we are a little bit more exposed and we don’t want to feel unease with ourselves thus to be able to wear that killer swim suit  we need to feel good while wearing that. #1 do something to make you feel good in your own skin!
  2. Get your hair done! Summer is the time where I go get my hair done. There is nothing like having someone do your hair! I do it three times a year at best. I go in do the whole thing and I just feel like a totally new person and feel good for my hair is looking good. A new hair cut or colour is the key to that summer girl you are wanting to become.
  3. Less make up. In this heat you are going to get sweaty and make up is just going to drain from your face. Plus, being in the sun really helps your skin and you don’t want a huge layer blocking that. Put on the SPF some litter make up and let your natural beauty shine. The feeling good will come with less make up!
  4. Spend more time outside. For 8 months of the year we are inside because its too cold so spend as much time outside as possible even if its sitting reading. Sitting outside enjoy the day, the wind, the sun will honestly make you feel good cause there is nothing like fresh air!
  5. Socialize! Weekends are not only time to go and do something; you can easily do something during the week as well. It doesn’t even have to be drinking; thus one is fine. Being around people honestly brings the summer together and also really gets you motivated and confident. Good Energy!
  6. Take care of yourself! Spending a lot of time in the sun and outside can really tire a person out and  sure the tan not only looks good but makes you feel good it can also dry you out. Drink water, eat a lot of fruit, and take cold showers. Because even though its summer and there is something about summer sun, the ability to be outside, beer gardens you suddenly are in this summer bubble of happiness you still need to take care of yourself.

There is something definitely about summer that brings you to cloud 9 but what I learned is that its not only just a summer thing you can bring that cloud 9 year round by taking care of yourself and doing what makes you feel good.  The summer ready is so not about what we see on tV or in magazines or even on instagram; its in ourselves. I don’t want to feel gross, I want to feel good when I put on the jeans and I want to take care of myself. Enjoy this summer, get yourself ready and get yourself going for summer ready is just the start of a year of motivation, feeling good, looking good, glowing happiness for yourself! Brining that Summer Ready every month of the year.

 

Summer is a good start of a rock happy self  year round!

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How I edit my photographs: instagram addition

I thought about doing this for awhile now.  I do have a background photography and so I know some stuff. 

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First let’s talk about how I organize them and the “aesthetic”

Aesthetic is an artist finger print of what they use throughout their work. I like bright, with dark shadows; I want blue, grey, and purple, sometimes green to pop in my photos. Sometimes orange/brown nature colours come out. EXAMPLE

Take the first set below; I used probably the same filter; but what I did was keep an eye of how each photo works together, going from the picture of the water to the brick wall with the words-both have dark shadows, blue hues. Then the sign picture to the bar picture, the signs orange reddish that transitions well with the bar and with the black contracts, then lighting does change  with bar being much brighter. So then the subject or object of each photo helps with the transition. Over the time my feed has changed, sometimes when your posting without planning things won’t look consistent and that is when I look for similarities. The second photo stock below is a good example of that. You can tell that my photos went from  bright to dark. The location changed, thus the lighting, object change with it. But between each one they worked together. I call my getting brighter picture my summer to winter season in photographs.

what I always do is use UnUm app to help with organising  photos.  I want to post and share, to help see where I want them. NOW i only do this for blogging! If I did this personal my head would be a nightmare.

image1Things to consider when you’re thinking about your instgram feed: 

  • Lightening
  • Try to stay away from really bright/dark photos
  • Subject/object
  • Have a “transition” photo-mine are usually black and white
  • Allow your instgram to change–those stock photos are over the year of my instgram but I kept the same “what I take and share”
  • Colour–I love colour–I’m really about blue, grey; even in summer.
  • Don’t think too hard about the astetic

What I take pictures of

I’m snap happy  and even though I was educated in photography I am not someone who is tedious–taking photos is just natural to me. I look at how the human eye sees it then i see how I see it. I take a picture of something 10 different ways. I take pictures of my feet. And my “need to be different” plays a lot in my instagram feed and staying true to who I am. I don’t want to take a picture from someone elses perspective, I want to take them  from my perspective. If I like how they did it I want to that picture myself, use it as inspiration. Allowing my ‘finger print’ in my creativity and photography to come out. Photograph is our own of how we see something a lot of the time.

But I do want my pictures to tell a story, even if it’s a picture of my coffee cup and sun glasses, my  advertising/marketing education comes into my mind for those things. Learning about rules of thirds, what you want the subject to be, human eye and understanding of what they are looking at.

Things to considers when taking a photograph:

  • Rules of Third
  • What your object is.
  • The question my professors ask me is “what do you want the picture to say”
  • Audience
  • Try different settings
  • Try manual
  • Learn about IOS and F stop
  • Don’t just take a photo from the “usual” perspective take it different angles

Camera’s used:

 Canon Sx600 HS

Canon EOS rebel T3

iPhone 6s

 

How I edit them 

Now to get to what people want to read about, editing. What I do when I edit is really what colours I really want to bring out and subject. Take these set  below , I used the same filter, I adjust them all the same way; yet there not the same; they work together that’s for sure.  The first photo at the top, of the building, the focus was on the building so I made sure that when I edited that wasn’t off; take the picture of my feet, with the lighting and shadows mixed together I edited so nothing was too dark or too bright. Working with the photo and focusing on the subject is key to editing photographs.

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I use VSCO like everyone else; my top three are A5, and HB1 HB2. Lately, I’ll go on instagram and do like 25-40 on Aden filter but thats usually when trying to make different photos taken at different times to fit together. If the photo is dark I raise the brightness or vis versa. I raise contrast, do a little bit of saturation and decrees temperature to max of 1.0 to get more of a blue tone to my photos. I never go over 2.0 when adjusting each tool. I might do extra things like fade, skin, etc but usually not.

If I do a selfie I always whiten my eyes, teeth and sometimes hair-to make it look like my hair went grey. SECRET OUT! But I rarely do selfies on my blog instagram.

What to consider when editing photos

  • to make the photos not look so photoshop
  • REAL is key
  • Don’t edit to much
  • stay away from any filters that really change the colour of your skin

And that’s how I do it! I love taking pictures for a lot of reasons but the main one is so I don’t forget the places I’ve been and what happen behind the picture because when I look at them I not only see the place but I remember who was with me, what I was feeling, what happen before and after, the words that were said, and how I was feeling in that moment. I remember everything in that picture even the stuff that isn’t captured. 

 

Comment below and tell me your favourite filter to use. Also do you do something different when editing? What do you like to take pictures? do you even like taking pictures or just do it when your on holiday or birthday?