Let’s talk about mental health: a guide to getting yourself through.

I know it’s not mental health month anymore so I’m behind but I didn’t know if I wanted to write this or how I wanted to write this.

We all have our own mental health story but we all feel the same way towards it (maybe I don’t want to put anything on anyway);we don’t feel like ourselves, we feel silly after and seem crazy. But we aren’t. I never saw my mental health as an issue and personally, I never really talked about it cause I don’t want pity. So I would just brush it off like saying “i’m fine” and giving people nothing when they ask why. But here it is.

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset
Pin & Share
I never realize I had mental health and need to take care of myself until I had a year that I call my dark time. Then I realize this was something I’ve been going through my whole life and needed not only take care of but also understand and know I have no shame towards it. For me, I have anxiety and depression. Also, my brain gets best of me and I have trouble handling things that lead to extreme outburst and panic attacks. And lately, my mental health has been challenged. So, I’ve been having more bad days and moments than good. Which is hard cause it not only reminds me of that dark time but also I know I’m a strong person and know what I can do; yet it seems to not be enough; the bad still keeps hitting me.

I’ve had two major moments where my mental health was at its worst at 10 years old and at 21. I’ve seen the worst, I have memories and feelings that come to me; reminding me. I know where bad is and I know how to get through it but also where I never want to end up. To make sure I don’t end up back in a “dark time” I do things, I keep myself motivated and filled with positives, I fuck the negativity and sometimes that included people and I have the BEST mother in the WORLD. I’ve tried therapy but my personality just didn’t fit. What do I do then? Well I created a list that I hope may help someone else who is going through some bad days, dark days. Below. Remember: you are strong & beautiful.

Processed with VSCO with a5 preset

How to get out of them is easier said than done but here is a list of things I do to get myself feeling better or good again.

List of things to do to help you through:

  • Take walks or get out of the house. Getting out of the house, getting some fresh air is the perfect way to have some time. Remember to breath in & out.
  • Disconnect from social media and your phone. Don’t look at phone especially if you wake up and you feel it’s going to be one of those days walk away from the phone
  • Do something that makes you feel good. Even if it’s taking a shower or brushing your hair.
  • Read more. I think grabbing that good book really can be a good distracting and let yourself go into a different world
  • Write. Either its dear diary scribbles on side of notes, or writing a story. Writing down can get those thoughts out of your head.
  • Go into your own little world. Put on the noise cancel headphones and listen to those songs that fill you with joy and happiness.
  • Take your camera and go chase some sunsets. Like the first one; I think the best way to get going especially when you feel it coming is to go on an adventure and take some pictures
  • Lay down. When I hit that point of a breakdown; my best thing I  do is just sit in my tub. ITs weird, I honestly sit there with my clothes on and just talk to myself. Like taking a relaxing bath just no water or clothes.
  • Workout. A lot of the time my energy is built up and I need to let it out so I work out.
  • Hang out with the people that know you and can really be there for you.
  • Take the evening to relax. Have one of those me time nights. Put on a face mask, some Gilmore Girls; keep your phone away, and just enjoy a relaxing night in.
  • Sleep and repeat.

These are things I do before the ‘storm’ during the storm, and after the storm; it really depends on how I’m feeling and what is going to be helpful in that moment. I know I’m the person when someone tells me “oh you’ll get over it” or anything that isn’t helpful just makes it worst. This list is a suggestion, some things you might not have tried and could work for you.  A lot of times you do (I do at least) feel silly cause after the storm you feel fine like what happen wasn’t even necessary. But, don’t feel stupid because what you went through and going through was necessary to get to the rainbow!

Mental health is a battle; sometimes it takes a day, sometimes it lasts a whole week. But keep going and try different things; don’t put yourself in a situation that are going to negatively affect you. And if something isn’t working, drop it and walk away. You may not feel like yourself but you’ll soon feel like yourself or a total new person!Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

I find with blogging and being open like this I’m helping that little girl who didn’t understand what was going on in her head or that 20 something girl who needs to know someone out there understands. Talking about mental health breaks the stigma. What someone is going through is there’s. Reminder: you don’t know what someone is going through.  A lot of time people can say “they understand” when they really don’t. What we need to do is talk about them, be there for our friends and loved ones; to not run away but to be there, show support cause when they talk to you they don’t want pity what they want is to talk.   For the girls (&boys) going through the battle of mental health remember that you are strong every day!

I’m no professional I’m a girl who’s living and getting by with a war in her mind (did that rhyme that felt like it rhymed)


Disclaimer: I’m no way an expert, I never learned this in school, I’m not educated. Terms idk. And I’m taking from my perspective, what my mental health is and what I do. There is more to mental health then what I talking about. If you or someone you know are struggling with depression, mental illness, or suicidal thoughts, please reach out—to family, friends, mental health professionals, or crisis workers. In the United States and Canada, you can call the 24-hour, toll-free National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).


What this single holiday made me realise….

I want to talk about my experience of doing a solo holiday, the ups, the downs, and what it all taught me. A guy questioned me if I had friends since I was on a holiday by myself. I know what you’re thinking, what an asshole. I saw nothing wrong with going on a holiday by myself especially since I have been independent for so many other things. Yet, going on a holiday isn’t what society would consider something you do on your own. But when have I ever done what was typical?

The struggles…

At the start of the trip it was a little hard, my mind was getting the best of me and I could feel my body shake because there was a rush of thoughts in my brain and I did not stop to relax. My anxiety and feeling isolated was getting to me. I wondered if I would be able to make the 7 days?

I thought I was not going to be able to be on a holiday on my own; how could I have thought I could do this?  What I didn’t say in my post about my first impressions was my first night “out” on my own.

I got all dresses up, I was using Tinder (don’t even) to try to meet people but they were of course not having it, all talk no action, and I was being very hold back (what’s the word?). But what I did was decide to go to the hostel bar get some food and then go to this place called the Apple. I wrote with an OTTD ” All I got is myself so I minest-well kill it” But as I went down there to sit in this large beer garden eating my food I got from one of the stands, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, hardly any one spoke English (which was fine), they all had there groups and a guy spilled his drink on my white pants. I went, ran, back to my room, changed, and I new I couldn’t let this anxiety of me win. So I left headed to the Apple place and it just got worst. I felt awkward and weird, like this little girl lost without her mom or something. I felt eyes on me, I felt like I didn’t belong. My anxiety was hitting me hard, I chugged my drink and again ran away back to the hostel. I had to stop for food because I was shaking and felt like I could fall over. When I got back I called my dad telling him what happen and how I couldn’t believe I could  think I could do this.

I soon learned I was putting myself in the wrong situations and it wasn’t until I figured out the right places to go that my mind calmed down.



I realized being on my own didn’t mean I was lonely or alone; it just meant I could easily spend time with myself and enjoy myself. We spend so much time on our own doing things that are seen as what you should do on your own, like read a book, as an example. I personally feel like that’s all good and fun but to really get something for yourself you need to go out and be adventurous and let your wings soar. Become your own character, which I did when I told someone my name was Rogue (the main character’s name in my thesis).

Traveling by yourself you really begin to realize who you are, what you are capable of, and what matters and whom.

I try to limit my phone time, because I do spend a lot of time on my phone but I also wanted to share my experiences. I didn’t want to get wrapped in what others were doing, or doing without me. Instead, I would text my fam-fam sharing the little moments. I would sharing bits on social media, snapping what I would doing to my friends. There were moments when I put down the phone and didn’t share anything, allowing myself to just be in the moment.

I recommend for anyone especially young women to go on a trip by themselves. But to do that you not only have to be smart, strong, and independent. I am not saying at 16-19 to run off on your own because that isn’t the time to do it. You have to go through the woods before you climb the mountain.

Before we get into this next part- this blog is my words, my thoughts, my style, my travels and it will sometimes get personal and this trip had some personal aspects to it as well that I would like to share….

The personal…

The trip was good for me because it prepared me for what was about to happen when I go back home. Before I left I had to pack up my things and was getting ready to move down to Gtown for the month. But, I still needed a few days in the city to work on my thesis so I was returning to an unorganized, all over the place situation.  That did not help my overwhelming stress level that was already building because of what I am going to say….

If you read the last Bristol blog I did kind of say it. But, I’ll say it again, my life is in a transition.

I felt years ago that I had nothing left. I needed to find what was missing (ironically that’s the theme of my thesis). So I went off, asking strangers to become friends, loves, flings, family, memories. I went to a new place and made it my home. It was exciting yet so hard at the same time….

I spent two and half years avoiding the question when are you leaving. I was trying to stop the thoughts that I was temporary when I was right there. I was trying to form a life with people and a place that I did not grow up in.  Basically, I was trying to find my place in a new world. Even though that new world felt like this was where I belonged, reality kept knocking.


And how are you supposed to live in the now when reality keeps knocking? It’s really stressful! Thus, I went on Holiday.




And this is what can happen with a wanderlust lifestyle or moving yourself across the world to a new place. It has nothing to do with anyone or anything- it is because there is a metaphorical clock ticking off the time.  For example, being asked to go on a trip with friends in October- would you be here for that?
I have many times have said I am happy, and I am. I have gotten to experience so much while in Ireland. I got to become part of a wonderful family, form relationships, create memories, and make an impact. But, the hardest thing I was trying to do was to just experience life as it happened, live a life but felt like so much was stopping that.  Some others may have experienced it differently, but this is what I have felt/learned/experienced.
During my holiday I have taken the time to reflect on my time in Ireland. I’ve had many great times with people, with this place and I have so many great memories. Despite the bad/down days I love it here this is my home. However, even though it kills me to admit it I know what I want and I will not find it here. I’ve been running away for two years, trying to find what was missing, and it was the thing I was running from was what I needed, myself.

That’s what I learned on my Holiday. More of what I got up to herehere.