How to dress like yourself in a professional setting

Knowing who I am never was the problem. The problem has always been being who I am in a world that wants me to be someone I’m not. I definitely feel this when I have to go to work, wearing clothes that are professional but aren’t me. Like you go to work and you actually aren’t yourself. I don’t like khakis I don’t like how they feel, a lot of dress pants look weird on me, and blazers I feel like a kid with an oversize jacket pretending to be “mother”.  A lot of time I began to itch at myself, I just want to put on my clothes but I can’t because I’m in an adult job. But who says you can’t wear your clothes, your style to work?

So how do you dress for work but still be yourself? Here are a few looks I put together that I would wear to work.

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Lets be honest trying to wear clothes as a women is hard. Have you seen the school rules girls have? I find it very hard when I walk into work and I get a look up and down with that eye thats telling you something is wrong with your outfit. It’s like my skirt is at finger tips and I am short. Also if you have an issue with what I am wearing, I think we have to look in the mirror. Am I right? But lets focus on trying not to feel like a kid playing dress up while going to work.

Above is a cozy, simple outfit. I like this outfit because the sweater isn’t too tight where when things are tight I am very itchy and that effects my focus. The skirt my mom made and I like the ruffs brings a little girly to my look. Leather sneakers for those days where my feet can’t do heels! And bun up because its better to have your hair in a bun out of your face!

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Switching to a different top and some wedge heels that lace up. I like this because I’m still me in my bold jewellery, black clothes yet I’m still professional. The jacket I picked up in a shop three years ago off in Cork, its the shop next to Pennys if anyone is familiar. I liked that its a very nice jacket with leather=like lining around it but not your usual suit jacket. Like I said I can’t wear a suit jacket!

When I have to go to work and I have to wear more professional outfits and its a struggle; because I am such a T-shirt and Jeans girl, clothes can really bug me when I’m stress and nervous. So, I always go for a nice button up that’s not too tight, some black jeans or a skirt. You really can’t go wrong with dresses except I haven’t found a dress that feels like me but professional. The little black dress I’ve had since I was 17 so maybe that’s the problem.

Here are some looks I’ve pinned that I pinned under “grown up” board that I would consider wearing to work and are still “my style”:

 

 

Maybe this whole thing is a metaphor. Maybe this is me saying how people really got to stop looking at me like a child. Or maybe this is me telling myself I really shouldn’t have bought those patch jeans like I am some teenager in the 80s. What does it mean to be an adult? I don’t know, I thought it was when I could vote, then when I could drink, then it was after I graduate college, after I got a Masters, now when I get a big girl job, but like I stopped calling that and started to call it a career so maybe I’m an adult now? Anyone else feel like an adult yet? Or do you feel as awkward and weird in suits as much as I do?! Let me know!

“Life isn’t where I want it to be most definitely not and I never wanted my life to be stuck and determine by what I have to do so do what you love and fuck the rest. “

More from this shoot on FB click here!

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On my mind: No need to explain yourself

Let me explain how I’m not going to explain myself anymore & a question I’ve been asking myself with Instagram. 

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I have always been an open book and an explainer, every since I was little. I would tell people everything, I’d announce not that I have to go to the bathroom but that I have to pee. I would explain a lot of things to people, mostly out of fear of assumptions and being misunderstood. But, over the last few months now I found myself stopping. Why should we have to explain ourselves really?

I  use to write status all the time about what was happen, in “on this day” I wrote “out and about” A LOT. I explained so much in status, which then went to twitter, then when blogging went to explaining whats been happening–like you actually care, like what I am saying is sooo important it’ll change your life. It won’t I’m not an idiot. But why do I do it? Maybe in hopes someone would care or out of fear no one would actually care. Here’s the thing people who do care know and the people who don’t don’t matter. Half the time people only care what your doing if your doing it wrong. 

So I am going to stop explaining myself. Because half the time its not needed and other time you are just trying to defend yourself to someone who has already made up their mind. I like to say make your assumptions you’ll be the ass. A challenge I like you to take is to stop yourself from explaining, stop yourself for telling, stop yourself for writing that twitter or status. See what happens.

I’ve been questioning blogging  especially blogging with instagram

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This whole month of October started out with being burnt out having to work two jobs, feeling so out of the loop and not feeling like I was doing GREAT with blogging. In my update after a year being back I said how I want to write. But after seeing my Stats and traffic with my blog–I wonder if blogging is worth it.

I really enjoy the little place I made on Instagram through blogging that I would have never done if I didn’t, I met some really cool people through it too.  However, there’s been this down slide of things where there is no engagement, traffic coming from to my blog I aim to get never happens. For none bloggers — its like that you shared this amazing thing on S.M and when you go back no one or your mom has liked it. It’s like that.  This is why I try to engage with other bloggers because I know thats what they want and know the feeling when it doesn’t happen.

Writing comes easy to me, I have endless ideas, my draft box is full-but to make sure they’re GREAT the time I put in them to make sure there is no mistakes is A LOT. I stress over content, figuring out how to promo it, I check my status, I see if anyone has commented/liked, etc.  For what, to realize no one is reading it, it hurts.

It is harder to get people to read your stuff, I get it–I find it hard to sit down and read to I’ve always had and when its online well you get into your circle of scrolling. I’m not here for the attention or the likes–I never been that person and to be honest I really never expected this many people to follow my blog SO I AM GRATEFUL sometimes a little overwhelmed.

Blogging isn’t my job but its more than a hobby.  I’m putting so much stress into blogging while working two jobs, & all that work into three different directions is HARD. That I wonder if I’m not getting the traffic and the connections I made are getting strain just like my friendships. It sucks to be 5,000 miles away. My BFF told me it would be a shame for me to get ride of my insta after all that progress, able to see my life journey over the past few years.

It’s selfish for me to stay here, but the point is I love it, I enjoy it–I enjoy it more then my actual personal accounts. Another con to keep instagram blog is fact that there is a game I’m not willing to play but I adresses that here.

 

They only care when you’re doing something wrong // but she was doing it all right ||  

Try putting everything I’ve seen, I’ve felt myself , what others have told me in this. 

They have something to say about how you dress, the colour of your hair. The tattoo on your body, that nose ring in your nose. Fact you speak up but your only really doing it for the likes. Or they call you a bitch for being honest. They leave you comments saying you’re too thick because you aren’t a size two.  Like what they say about you means something, it defines who you are–but that is bullshit.

Here she is being herself and they think what they have a say. That they can just belittle, bully her down, say mean things for what?! For their own stratification, because they don’t like what they see in the reflection. Because it doesn’t agree with them and their own style. Because all she is doing is being herself, but they don’t like it. They will only care when she is doing something wrong. But here’s the thing, she is doing everything right.

IT would be so easy to be like everyone else, to do what everyone else is doing, to conform, to stay silent, to follow the rules of the road, but that is no fun. And worst of all to fear backlash, comments, dislike, or opinions by strangers or people she knows only hurting herself. To lower herself, to be what they want to be is the worst.

…..

Care  but don’t care about peoples opinions. 

Follow a city girl story on instagram

Also today is #internationalgirlsday the blog post is on FB page. 

For the girl who need the reminder of the importance of confidence in herself.

You are feeling discourage in yourself and wanting it all to stop but you don’t know how. So you spend the day in bed questioning everything instead of taking action because every time you take action you are reminded by so much.  You look in the mirror and you see it all; you see your flaws, you see what they might see, you can’t unseen it. And it gets to you. You began to feel unhappy but you’re not sad, your something else. You do not feel that confidence you once felt.

Happiness doesn’t come for things you have. You can go on a shopping spree and it can make you happy but only for a second.  Happiness is how you feel about yourself & if you don’t feel that than what happens? You’re good, you’re breathing it’s just that life has become a little  frustration. Things are getting to you and you began to go down and you get discourage.

You are feeling that fear of failure in yourself and start to see it more and more, that your losing the important parts of life.

 

You’re going to get a little lost, your going to question not only things but yourself, you’re going to get a lot of no’s, your going to get those looks and you just want to get there. You wish people stop talking and telling you things and start handing you the directions you need. You need those words to tell you exactly what you need to hear. So here they are. If we stop questioning ourselves, letting these things frustrating us and making us feel discourage (easier said then done) that we will soon be feeling like ourselves again, we will laugh spontaneous, we will look in the mirror and there you will be. 

hm top grunge pruple lip creative thought lookbookNot loving yourself won’t get you anywhere, it will be hard especially when you’re questioning yourself after a something that effects you so hard, you’re feeling out of place, your feeling the weight of the world, you see your future and your scared, you feel stuck.  And each time you come back to yourself and feeling like your not enough. You need to know you are worth it despite not meeting the demands of others, not having the enough experience. You’re will and confidence in yourself will shine through the heartbreak or hurt. And you will find yourself where you need to be.

Put that effort in yourself again. Where the discourage you felt will turn into confidence. You will feel worth of who you are when you look at yourself, when you walk in a room, you will know despite not looking or acting like everyone else you belong here. That person you’ve been missing will be in front of you again.

And you will soon find yourself without realising in the place you’ve been struggling to get to.

 

 

 

P.S I’m not going to tell you that it will all work out in the end, or when you get to the point you will have the closet full of shoes, maybe you will. Who knows!?

Let’s talk about mental health: a guide to getting yourself through.

I know it’s not mental health month anymore so I’m behind but I didn’t know if I wanted to write this or how I wanted to write this.

We all have our own mental health story but we all feel the same way towards it (maybe I don’t want to put anything on anyway);we don’t feel like ourselves, we feel silly after and seem crazy. But we aren’t. I never saw my mental health as an issue and personally, I never really talked about it cause I don’t want pity. So I would just brush it off like saying “i’m fine” and giving people nothing when they ask why. But here it is.

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I never realize I had mental health and need to take care of myself until I had a year that I call my dark time. Then I realize this was something I’ve been going through my whole life and needed not only take care of but also understand and know I have no shame towards it. For me, I have anxiety and depression. Also, my brain gets best of me and I have trouble handling things that lead to extreme outburst and panic attacks. And lately, my mental health has been challenged. So, I’ve been having more bad days and moments than good. Which is hard cause it not only reminds me of that dark time but also I know I’m a strong person and know what I can do; yet it seems to not be enough; the bad still keeps hitting me.

I’ve had two major moments where my mental health was at its worst at 10 years old and at 21. I’ve seen the worst, I have memories and feelings that come to me; reminding me. I know where bad is and I know how to get through it but also where I never want to end up. To make sure I don’t end up back in a “dark time” I do things, I keep myself motivated and filled with positives, I fuck the negativity and sometimes that included people and I have the BEST mother in the WORLD. I’ve tried therapy but my personality just didn’t fit. What do I do then? Well I created a list that I hope may help someone else who is going through some bad days, dark days. Below. Remember: you are strong & beautiful.

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How to get out of them is easier said than done but here is a list of things I do to get myself feeling better or good again.

List of things to do to help you through:

  • Take walks or get out of the house. Getting out of the house, getting some fresh air is the perfect way to have some time. Remember to breath in & out.
  • Disconnect from social media and your phone. Don’t look at phone especially if you wake up and you feel it’s going to be one of those days walk away from the phone
  • Do something that makes you feel good. Even if it’s taking a shower or brushing your hair.
  • Read more. I think grabbing that good book really can be a good distracting and let yourself go into a different world
  • Write. Either its dear diary scribbles on side of notes, or writing a story. Writing down can get those thoughts out of your head.
  • Go into your own little world. Put on the noise cancel headphones and listen to those songs that fill you with joy and happiness.
  • Take your camera and go chase some sunsets. Like the first one; I think the best way to get going especially when you feel it coming is to go on an adventure and take some pictures
  • Lay down. When I hit that point of a breakdown; my best thing I  do is just sit in my tub. ITs weird, I honestly sit there with my clothes on and just talk to myself. Like taking a relaxing bath just no water or clothes.
  • Workout. A lot of the time my energy is built up and I need to let it out so I work out.
  • Hang out with the people that know you and can really be there for you.
  • Take the evening to relax. Have one of those me time nights. Put on a face mask, some Gilmore Girls; keep your phone away, and just enjoy a relaxing night in.
  • Sleep and repeat.

These are things I do before the ‘storm’ during the storm, and after the storm; it really depends on how I’m feeling and what is going to be helpful in that moment. I know I’m the person when someone tells me “oh you’ll get over it” or anything that isn’t helpful just makes it worst. This list is a suggestion, some things you might not have tried and could work for you.  A lot of times you do (I do at least) feel silly cause after the storm you feel fine like what happen wasn’t even necessary. But, don’t feel stupid because what you went through and going through was necessary to get to the rainbow!

Mental health is a battle; sometimes it takes a day, sometimes it lasts a whole week. But keep going and try different things; don’t put yourself in a situation that are going to negatively affect you. And if something isn’t working, drop it and walk away. You may not feel like yourself but you’ll soon feel like yourself or a total new person!Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

I find with blogging and being open like this I’m helping that little girl who didn’t understand what was going on in her head or that 20 something girl who needs to know someone out there understands. Talking about mental health breaks the stigma. What someone is going through is there’s. Reminder: you don’t know what someone is going through.  A lot of time people can say “they understand” when they really don’t. What we need to do is talk about them, be there for our friends and loved ones; to not run away but to be there, show support cause when they talk to you they don’t want pity what they want is to talk.   For the girls (&boys) going through the battle of mental health remember that you are strong every day!

I’m no professional I’m a girl who’s living and getting by with a war in her mind (did that rhyme that felt like it rhymed)

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Disclaimer: I’m no way an expert, I never learned this in school, I’m not educated. Terms idk. And I’m taking from my perspective, what my mental health is and what I do. There is more to mental health then what I talking about. If you or someone you know are struggling with depression, mental illness, or suicidal thoughts, please reach out—to family, friends, mental health professionals, or crisis workers. In the United States and Canada, you can call the 24-hour, toll-free National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

The Girl that is letting herself go (plus OTTD)

This is a creative thoughtful post- I’ve done these before and I like them. But to mix it up I added a little OTTD to go along with it. 

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You do not exist anymore and I’m letting myself go.

 Looking back I wonder what girl was I to you. The girl you spent a few nights with. The  girl who you spent  months with road tripping. Knowing who you were and who I was with you. The conversations we had, the nights we spend together. Was I the girl I thought I was to you.

The girl who was your best friend. The girl you to talk to at the end of the night. The girl who let you be whoever you wanted to be. Let you go off with your friends; she wouldn’t care. The girl you adored. The girl who only wanted your company but that was too much to ask. I wasn’t that girl to you.

But, you weren’t the guy either. The guy that gave reassurance and confidence, saying “fuck them” when I couldn’t.  The guy I felt like me around you. A guy where I didn’t think twice about how to act around. A proud man for you got that girl that every guy could have had. A78D585F-9D3F-4219-82A8-7D5F616676C4FC2A6896-3B81-4267-BB36-535E8C1CC16C

You lost that girl. You lost her when you walked right out at 3am like it was that easy. You lost her the minute you decided to call her up to talk for hours, making her feel like you were back. But then you turned around and gave her the thumbs up. You lost her the minute you decided she was not worth the fight. You lost her when you made her feel so damn worthless.  You lost her when she realize she shouldn’t be treated like that. I’m that girl.E64E4B54-8C3A-434A-96BB-C35903F0DF67 (1)

I’m that girl and it’s the girl you could never had. I’m done missing the guy you never were. Because to be the guy you were to me, I had to be that girl to you. So I’m letting myself go from you, from all of you.  You do not exist anymore and I’m letting myself go.

Because, I’m not that girl, anymore.

Processed with VSCO with hb2 presetOutfit details:

Jumper: Zara (months old)

Jeans: Topshop (Jamie Jeans)

Fish tights: Pennys

Booties: Nostrums

necklace: forever 21 (years ago)

Hair: Lo’real colour-purple

Let me know if you liked it below.