A City Girl Story: Behind Blogging

Why some things don’t work out.
When I decided to put more effort into blogging I decided to join and invest into groups that I thought would give me a leg up in blogging. I thought joining them would tell me what I didn’t already know or give me opportunities. What I learned was I really didn’t need any of it.
Sure, joining enabled me to network and connect with more people, which I liked but I have done that a lot on my own. And sometimes adding the hashtags just didn’t work, or the people in the network just weren’t people I could relate to which was disappointing. They were also telling me what I already knew, and I’d heard over and over again, like SEO, domains, content, and hashtags. I soon began to realize that just like in life, single holiday’s, becoming a writer, I could do it all on my own.
For example, getting ads or working with other people. I’ve gotten e-mails, and even the group I joined had opportunities where I could get paid, which I know ads on blogs seem so wrong. But, I want to make a living, and also it doesn’t seem to bother people to have ads, especially if they are still following, watching and reading the content. So, I never get why people complain when people have sponsorships. I understand if it sounds fake. For me what the organization or what was being e-mailed to me was all too over priced, nothing I would ever wear, or seemed like they were just trying to get my money. Plus, they would take over my Instagram, or I would pay them for 24 hours of posts which would give me a set number of followers. All I could think was that this was my instgram and how could they ensure I would get that many REAL followers.

I do not like to conform or if making this into a career means giving up myself, being told what to do, then what the hell was I doing here?
I began to hate it. I wanted to take away my e-mail. I wanted to diconnect myself. Because I knew I personally did not like that, I don’t like the idea of putting or working with others that just weren’t me. I didn’t want to go into these dressing rooms to try on clothes just to get paid. But, what was a girl suppose to do get her blog noticed? To get herself notice? A question I began to ask myself a lot lately.
Postive side. The group I joined had an interview with bloggers/business women in media who said that small groups are better; they connect better with their followers. I 100% agree. When I follow someone who has 1.5 K followers I don’t feel as “close” to them as I would with someone who has 300. It’s all about the little people.
I don’t see my blog as the typical blog.  I think a lot of the time it’s hard to be original and have it get noticed. It’s even harder to like a trend and stand out. It’s hard to be real in social media all together. I’m not doing this to be liked, I’m doing it because I love it. I love taking pictures, I love creating content, I love writing, I love sharing stories.

 
I do struggle in creating content for each post. I do find it difficult to go further with my blogging because I know I’m not typical, nor do I want to be. I don’t know if what I have to say will bring others in or want to work with me, but it doesn’t matter because I blog because I enjoy this type of writing. Plus, when I did get more than 100 likes on a post it doesn’t bring me satisfaction, it gives me anxiety when my phone constantly blows up with notifications.

This post is saying how I will always keep it real, that when I do work with someone or a businesses you will know I am still being 100% me, and to remember I am doing this because of my passsion for writing and all on my own.

We are keeping it real.

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Update on A City Girl Story blog

 

img_6726Blogging isn’t just keeping up with a blog anymore. And even though it isn’t my job, it’s something I like writing and want to do more with it. 

This weekend I was thinking about my social media platforms for A City Girl Story and what I could do to improve them. But, I hesitated because when it comes to public things there are rude and creepy people out there–like in real life you have to be safe. And knowing this I pull myself back. Yet I feel that shouldn’t stop me from doing what I love and want to do.  I’m not going to be sharing personal things but sharing things that is A City Girl Story for people to develop a connection to my blog. This may make sense once I go into what I’m planning to do.

Because I want to make good blog posts that are worth reading, as well as good content for each post, one blog post a week is all I can do.  If something changes and I have a lot more time during the weekend then maybe there could be two. If you want to know what to expect from the blog in 2017, you can read it here.  And because social media comes in handy, it can be quick and easy to share something. And that is what I am going to do.

I am not going to change anything for my Instagram account. I love Instagram and having this one really helps not only my creativity but my ability to share all the photographs I snap. Some days I really struggle other days I explode. So if you follow me on Instagram nothing is going to change. For Facebook I’m going to post a lot more links, quotes, and style trends. But, I am only going to post as often as I feel the topics are relevant to A City Girl Story. Having a facebook page will allow me to share more inspiration stuff because that is what A City Girl Story is all about. 

So follow Instagram and Facebook for more of A City Girl Story. All the links to them are in the right corner.

xox

kole

2017 & A City Girl Story.

What’s to become of A City Girl Story in 2017.

If you follow me you know that A City Girl Story is my voice, my story, and a place where I write about things that I know and feel would be interesting to share with my readers. I’m writing for the every day girl because I am an every day girl. A City Girl story is a blog for people to read, enjoy, get advice from, and maybe become inspired. Sometimes I will write about personal things like my disability, but I am careful to be selective on what I share so that I am no too exposed. I will never hold a camera to my face and I will keep some moments of my life private because those moments aren’t a city girl story.

That being said I have some plans for 2017 for A City Girl Story, I plan to do:

  • creative writingI’ve said this a lot and I really want to put my writing on my blog, but its harder to share because a lot of creative stuff take time, edit, writing, and rewriting. But I’m quite fast. 
  • topics.  I’d like to talk about more issues that girls face. I’ve done a few pieces like these, a lot more talked about in my “city girl story” post. However I’d like to go away from the “I” and into more ‘looking at it’, lets talk about it issues like body confidence.  
  • more on style.  I say this a lot but I never really do  it, I post pictures and if I am in them I have clothes on but I never really did like a lookbook.
  • share my photography. not on my blog, but through A City Girl Story with a new Instagram account called Where She Stood. I am going to test the waters because it’s something to do during the evening. While some people read books, I edit photos.

A lot of these things are for me to just get myself out there more, to not be afraid or second guess myself and just post them out. I’ve done a lot of research about blogging and I learned to really be a good blogger you have to,

  • Put in the time and effort
  • prepare and plan
  • have good content
  • network and communicate with other bloggers
  • love it!

I’m learning that my skills I used in school planning, being organized and always being two weeks ahead editing, and really working at something are still useful. Those things will help me not only with blogging but to become a better writer and get me where I want to be in life. Because I want to get more into blogging, which I do, I post once a week, but I feel like I can do a lot more-I can create so much more then what I have done. And I thought I was going to go at in October but I wasn’t ready. Now 2017 I’ve done my research, I figured out what works, and how to put in my time and effort. Of course, content!

So what is to become of my blog A City Girl Story? I want it to become a voice for all girls! 

A City Girl story Update: photography

Photography is a hobby but I want it to be more….

2If you haven’t notice I love taking photos. I love taking them either if its just taking pictures to remember something, or to create content, or even to tell a story, put words and pictures together. But most of all I like photography. I’m basically snap happy. However, I just don’t take photos to have, I have a background and knowledge in it. And these classes forced me to think critical and with a purpose when taking photographs. I remember in one of my many visual, photography classes he shared Dorothea Lange photographs of the great depression, she was suppose to take pictures to share what life is like for people affected by the great depression. She took many, but there is one that said it all and everyone hasn’t forgotten:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Depression#/media/File:Lange-MigrantMother02.jpg

I always remember that lesson.

I have different aspects of photography just like in my writing. Like actually take pictures for a the human eye, take pictures to tell stories vs just taking pictures to share. Over the years I have taken pictures, I’ve shared them but I didn’t know what to do with my photos that I’d consider freelance/professional photographs. I had a Flickr but it wasn’t getting me anywhere. I decided to join this site, 500 px. which is like a cool version of Flickr which had a lot more going for me once I joined hitting the “popular” page a few times, however, it seems to only be for photographs. And well me being me not really someone who doesn’t really like to sell herself or put herself out there, I wasn’t going to do more. Yet, I wanted to.

Thus, I began to think about how to put my photographer with blogging even though they are different. And I’m trying it out a lot on instagram and having my creative post Fridays with my stories and photographer- volume 1 is here. I’m just hoping to do something with my photographs without them being something on Facebook or on my hard drives. It’s a hobby I’d like to share and if doesn’t work maybe I will create a instagram for them but I don’t want people to question me having two- you know?

It’s a circle I keep entering and going around in. And wanted to let you know what you should expect to come. Check out my 500 px or comment below if you have any suggestions 🙂

xox

Kole.

Part 5: those messages girls get

I’ve held onto this one for awhile, and its a hard one, and I don’t want to get in the wrong either. This Bad Date is not going to be funny, the word dick pic will be used A LOT and that’s my ‘warning’ if you don’t want to read. 

Bad Dates Series A city Girl Story

In the wake of women standing  and speaking up against sexual harassment and sexual assault, what’s happening in Hollywood, everywhere else, in #metoo and recently one of my favourite bloggers Frassy called out the creepy men that message her; and me fearing to share my stuff because I “know” what will happen but all I want to do is be creative. So it’s time to talk about those catcalling, dick pics, and those messages you get from guys.

If a guy says something or does something that is offensive I’m going to call  him out and hope he apologizes- they usually don’t. If a guy is going to grab my butt, I will kick him. And suddenly I’m the bad person?? Once I watch a guy reach, a foot away, with his hand going for a girl under her skirt. I slapped it so fast and screamed NO! For some beeping reason, guys think this is okay to say, touch, do, message girls. I was listening to the podcast called Its Galz (when I got this idea for this post-MONTHS AGO) which talked about those demeaning, sexualised,  messages girls get FROM STRANGERS. They talked about how guys think just because a girl posted a cute, sexy selfie or snap doesn’t mean you can DM her and start sending crude rude messages to her. It happens, and with dating, it happens, way too often. You kind of wonder if there is actually a decent guy out there who isn’t going to send you a picture and you know exactly what it is before you even open it.

Don’t you take it as a compliment? a guy asked me on a date once.

We are taught to take it as a compliment. That when a guy wants to “fuck you on that bed” that this is a good thing. When you are trying to get to know a guy and all he is  wanting is to meet you up for the night, drive around in his car, calls you at 4 am in the morning waking you up from your sleep to “come over.” Sending you dick pics after your having a nice conversation. I once got a dick pic from a guy who took it under the desk while still in the library. I sent a message back saying “did you seriesly just send me that, while you are in the library?” AND HE DID IT AGAIN!!

IS SO MESSED UP! For god sakes, I didn’t ask you to send me a picture of your dick that I thought was your elbow! That random hi you get from a stranger in your DMS turns to him wanting your number. And when you tell him no, your the bad guy? Here’s a tip  for those guys: fuck off, keep your dick in your pants, and stopppp! No girl has asked for anything, no girl or anyone post or is talking to you for you the creepy guy who thinks its okay to be so DISGUSTING. That is sexual harassment, and in 2017 you really should stop.

Girls, its not our fault.

You posted that selfing because you posted it after you felt good about yourself and their comments belittle you down like your nothing. HOW DARE THEY! Pull a 180 after talking about joining you for a walk with their dog sending half-naked pictures of himself in the mirror like damn he had abs but like really we were having a nice conversation then you send me that video? But I saw it, and I couldn’t believe you SENT THE EXACT SAME one like was it saved or something??? There is so much a girl can fake with guys but when it comes to those messages, pictures, words, and actions. You can’t fake or go along with any longer.

A guy sending his dick isn’t flattery it’s degrading. Sending her messages out of the blue, telling her how she looks makes your horny, is horror. It sure isn’t sweet or romantic.  Thinking the way to a girls heart or to her bedroom is to talk down to her, make her feel worthless or feel worth it but then make her feel like scum. That is not okay, and we girls deserve better than this. We are more than a body to fuck and we are more than just something to look at; we are more than those pointless snaps of your dick!

Girls, don’t be afraid to speak your mind, to tell the guy who said you look fuckable to fuck off, don’t take those DMs or those catcalls as a compliment. Because it is harassment. I have this t-shirt that says “not yours”  and I wear it with pride because I’m sure in hell, not yours to honk at.

When you’re dating a guy what do you do when he does become a dick of a creep sending you pictures, and talking “dirty” but it isn’t dirty it’s degrading.

I think with online dating, social media, a guy asking you for your snap, ability to send pictures, DMS– that we don’t have to be smart about it we ALREADY ARE smart about it. That if they’re not going to teach boys we will!! To tell the guy you know what I didn’t ask for that dick pick and I showed all my friends & we had a great laugh. Hit the block button, say goodbye, and know if your dating a guy and all he’s doing is sending you dick picks and changing the subject into something sexual the guy’s a pig.

Not all guys are like this, people have their thoughts on “all” but I know decent guys, I was raised by one, the issue is that this has happened too many times, and it’s a big issue and it HAS BEEN. It just happens #metoo, the stories in the news, and more women calling out guys that FINALLY action might be taken place. Women/girls just want to feel free to be themselves and they really can’t when they share a picture and a guy comments saying “you have really blue eyes *wink(” And all I can say is “thanks I got them from my dad”.

There are so many stories out there, that are bigger than those message girls get, and for any girl (&boy) who has been taking advantage of, sexually harassed, sexually assaulted it is not your fault, it’s not my fault either. For the ones who shared their story, you bring change and voices to so many people. I hope one day we can live without this shame and blame of the victim and stop asking “what she was wearing.”

P.S for the guys (lads) we need you to teach, stand up, and go agents. Ask yourself where are you and where will you be on this issues?

I couldn’t hold onto this post any longer and I really do hope I did this post justice.

 

City Girl Style: Girl Power Tees are more than a trend

let’s talk about how those girls empower t-shirts that everyone is wearing but no one seems to be talking.

girl power tess are more than a trend city girl blog post

Don’t get me wrong here, I love the graphic empowering Tees I just have some concerns.

 

We live in a time where being women, a girl, a lady is important.  More women are fighting and speaking up, calling it out, and saying it straight up. Even younger girls are too. And our clothes are a way of expressing , most definitely.  I’m only wondering if this trend a good thing or a bad thing for women solidarity. What do you think?

In a podcast (it Galz) they pointed out that wearing a t-shirt that says “feminist” is more than a trendy thing to buy.  I can’t remember the exact words they said, I can’t even remember the episode all I remember is they had a point. That this girl power, solidarity, feminist, women empowerment is more than a trend or a fab.  Being a girl, standing in solidarity, equality, Girl boss or girl power is not a “trending” or hashtag thing. It’s an ACT.

 

I’m not saying you shouldn’t wear these T-shirts, I’m all for the activist T-shirts–did you see my FB post that it’s not Band Tee’s anymore. I wonder if its a trend vs. an act. That if your going to wear the Tees you should definitely believe and stand up for what those tees represent. Or are you wearing it for the trendy factor?

I worry that the purpose and goal for feminism will get lost. So many people are wearing them more then speaking up. A lot of people are speaking up, don’t get me wrong but A lot more could be.

 

It’s not even T-shirts, these slogans of “Girl club” “not yours” are on any item of clothing,accessory. Instagram feeds are growing to be more feminists girl power base. But when I asked a girl if she was all for girl power she said “sure, I think it’s really cute though.”

The positive sides to all this it’s turning attention on women issues and will gain more attention, bring a more positive to feminism.

So the question is why are you going to buy the T-shirt for it’s “cool” and “trending” Or are you wearing it to make a bold symbolical statement of what change we want to see in the world. & not only wear it but speak it, walk the walk?

So before you buy a feminist slogan T-shirt from Zara or H&M think about these places where the % goes to some great organisations that do things for women and then some.Processed with VSCO with a5 preset

  • Google Ghost Nasty shirt: % goes to Planned Parenthood
  • My Sister.org: they are fighting and educating on sex trafficking
  • Female Collective: it is a place that uplifts and supports women also works with artist, writers, etc.
  • Feminist Apparel: has some great stuff that they even partner with some organisation.
    *Having a t-shirt like this is a good conversation starter because if someone says I like your t-shirt we say “Penny’s girl” imagine what we say when we tell them we got it at one of these organisations?!?!

Slogan girl power T-shirt are a cool item to wear but  it is more than a trendy fashion piece.  Wear it and also join the movement, educate yourself about women issues, basically stand with woman not only wear it. A way is to get involved in any way possible. It’s more than a fashion statement its a movement to a whole new future for women.Processed with VSCO with 2 preset

I strongly see the future is FEMALE especially if we keep going in this direction!

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