A City Girl Story: Behind Blogging

Why some things don’t work out.
When I decided to put more effort into blogging I decided to join and invest into groups that I thought would give me a leg up in blogging. I thought joining them would tell me what I didn’t already know or give me opportunities. What I learned was I really didn’t need any of it.
Sure, joining enabled me to network and connect with more people, which I liked but I have done that a lot on my own. And sometimes adding the hashtags just didn’t work, or the people in the network just weren’t people I could relate to which was disappointing. They were also telling me what I already knew, and I’d heard over and over again, like SEO, domains, content, and hashtags. I soon began to realize that just like in life, single holiday’s, becoming a writer, I could do it all on my own.
For example, getting ads or working with other people. I’ve gotten e-mails, and even the group I joined had opportunities where I could get paid, which I know ads on blogs seem so wrong. But, I want to make a living, and also it doesn’t seem to bother people to have ads, especially if they are still following, watching and reading the content. So, I never get why people complain when people have sponsorships. I understand if it sounds fake. For me what the organization or what was being e-mailed to me was all too over priced, nothing I would ever wear, or seemed like they were just trying to get my money. Plus, they would take over my Instagram, or I would pay them for 24 hours of posts which would give me a set number of followers. All I could think was that this was my instgram and how could they ensure I would get that many REAL followers.

I do not like to conform or if making this into a career means giving up myself, being told what to do, then what the hell was I doing here?
I began to hate it. I wanted to take away my e-mail. I wanted to diconnect myself. Because I knew I personally did not like that, I don’t like the idea of putting or working with others that just weren’t me. I didn’t want to go into these dressing rooms to try on clothes just to get paid. But, what was a girl suppose to do get her blog noticed? To get herself notice? A question I began to ask myself a lot lately.
Postive side. The group I joined had an interview with bloggers/business women in media who said that small groups are better; they connect better with their followers. I 100% agree. When I follow someone who has 1.5 K followers I don’t feel as “close” to them as I would with someone who has 300. It’s all about the little people.
I don’t see my blog as the typical blog.  I think a lot of the time it’s hard to be original and have it get noticed. It’s even harder to like a trend and stand out. It’s hard to be real in social media all together. I’m not doing this to be liked, I’m doing it because I love it. I love taking pictures, I love creating content, I love writing, I love sharing stories.

 
I do struggle in creating content for each post. I do find it difficult to go further with my blogging because I know I’m not typical, nor do I want to be. I don’t know if what I have to say will bring others in or want to work with me, but it doesn’t matter because I blog because I enjoy this type of writing. Plus, when I did get more than 100 likes on a post it doesn’t bring me satisfaction, it gives me anxiety when my phone constantly blows up with notifications.

This post is saying how I will always keep it real, that when I do work with someone or a businesses you will know I am still being 100% me, and to remember I am doing this because of my passsion for writing and all on my own.

We are keeping it real.

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Update on A City Girl Story blog

 

img_6726Blogging isn’t just keeping up with a blog anymore. And even though it isn’t my job, it’s something I like writing and want to do more with it. 

This weekend I was thinking about my social media platforms for A City Girl Story and what I could do to improve them. But, I hesitated because when it comes to public things there are rude and creepy people out there–like in real life you have to be safe. And knowing this I pull myself back. Yet I feel that shouldn’t stop me from doing what I love and want to do.  I’m not going to be sharing personal things but sharing things that is A City Girl Story for people to develop a connection to my blog. This may make sense once I go into what I’m planning to do.

Because I want to make good blog posts that are worth reading, as well as good content for each post, one blog post a week is all I can do.  If something changes and I have a lot more time during the weekend then maybe there could be two. If you want to know what to expect from the blog in 2017, you can read it here.  And because social media comes in handy, it can be quick and easy to share something. And that is what I am going to do.

I am not going to change anything for my Instagram account. I love Instagram and having this one really helps not only my creativity but my ability to share all the photographs I snap. Some days I really struggle other days I explode. So if you follow me on Instagram nothing is going to change. For Facebook I’m going to post a lot more links, quotes, and style trends. But, I am only going to post as often as I feel the topics are relevant to A City Girl Story. Having a facebook page will allow me to share more inspiration stuff because that is what A City Girl Story is all about. 

So follow Instagram and Facebook for more of A City Girl Story. All the links to them are in the right corner.

xox

kole

2017 & A City Girl Story.

What’s to become of A City Girl Story in 2017.

If you follow me you know that A City Girl Story is my voice, my story, and a place where I write about things that I know and feel would be interesting to share with my readers. I’m writing for the every day girl because I am an every day girl. A City Girl story is a blog for people to read, enjoy, get advice from, and maybe become inspired. Sometimes I will write about personal things like my disability, but I am careful to be selective on what I share so that I am no too exposed. I will never hold a camera to my face and I will keep some moments of my life private because those moments aren’t a city girl story.

That being said I have some plans for 2017 for A City Girl Story, I plan to do:

  • creative writingI’ve said this a lot and I really want to put my writing on my blog, but its harder to share because a lot of creative stuff take time, edit, writing, and rewriting. But I’m quite fast. 
  • topics.  I’d like to talk about more issues that girls face. I’ve done a few pieces like these, a lot more talked about in my “city girl story” post. However I’d like to go away from the “I” and into more ‘looking at it’, lets talk about it issues like body confidence.  
  • more on style.  I say this a lot but I never really do  it, I post pictures and if I am in them I have clothes on but I never really did like a lookbook.
  • share my photography. not on my blog, but through A City Girl Story with a new Instagram account called Where She Stood. I am going to test the waters because it’s something to do during the evening. While some people read books, I edit photos.

A lot of these things are for me to just get myself out there more, to not be afraid or second guess myself and just post them out. I’ve done a lot of research about blogging and I learned to really be a good blogger you have to,

  • Put in the time and effort
  • prepare and plan
  • have good content
  • network and communicate with other bloggers
  • love it!

I’m learning that my skills I used in school planning, being organized and always being two weeks ahead editing, and really working at something are still useful. Those things will help me not only with blogging but to become a better writer and get me where I want to be in life. Because I want to get more into blogging, which I do, I post once a week, but I feel like I can do a lot more-I can create so much more then what I have done. And I thought I was going to go at in October but I wasn’t ready. Now 2017 I’ve done my research, I figured out what works, and how to put in my time and effort. Of course, content!

So what is to become of my blog A City Girl Story? I want it to become a voice for all girls! 

A City Girl story Update: photography

Photography is a hobby but I want it to be more….

2If you haven’t notice I love taking photos. I love taking them either if its just taking pictures to remember something, or to create content, or even to tell a story, put words and pictures together. But most of all I like photography. I’m basically snap happy. However, I just don’t take photos to have, I have a background and knowledge in it. And these classes forced me to think critical and with a purpose when taking photographs. I remember in one of my many visual, photography classes he shared Dorothea Lange photographs of the great depression, she was suppose to take pictures to share what life is like for people affected by the great depression. She took many, but there is one that said it all and everyone hasn’t forgotten:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Depression#/media/File:Lange-MigrantMother02.jpg

I always remember that lesson.

I have different aspects of photography just like in my writing. Like actually take pictures for a the human eye, take pictures to tell stories vs just taking pictures to share. Over the years I have taken pictures, I’ve shared them but I didn’t know what to do with my photos that I’d consider freelance/professional photographs. I had a Flickr but it wasn’t getting me anywhere. I decided to join this site, 500 px. which is like a cool version of Flickr which had a lot more going for me once I joined hitting the “popular” page a few times, however, it seems to only be for photographs. And well me being me not really someone who doesn’t really like to sell herself or put herself out there, I wasn’t going to do more. Yet, I wanted to.

Thus, I began to think about how to put my photographer with blogging even though they are different. And I’m trying it out a lot on instagram and having my creative post Fridays with my stories and photographer- volume 1 is here. I’m just hoping to do something with my photographs without them being something on Facebook or on my hard drives. It’s a hobby I’d like to share and if doesn’t work maybe I will create a instagram for them but I don’t want people to question me having two- you know?

It’s a circle I keep entering and going around in. And wanted to let you know what you should expect to come. Check out my 500 px or comment below if you have any suggestions 🙂

xox

Kole.

A City Girl: Keep going backwards

I rewrote this a LOT….

Ireland vs. Minnesota and  back after living away for two years.  It’s been a year, so here is a little update (it’s long, I have a lot to say!)

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I’m keeping the title the same from when I first wrote this post, because I don’t know what to call it and even though things have changed I still feel myself “going backwards.” I mean, I find myself back to where I was before I moved away.

Many of the things I will talk about here could be summed up as  #youdon’tlknowmylife. It’ll be hard to grasp because you are not me. I can only explain it the best I can and you can only try and understand. People might think they have the answers but it is one of those times where it’s on me. And all you really ask from people is to listen, be there, and understand. 

What hasn’t changed

After a year of living here I still haven’t found my places, I still haven’t found or formed a group I could meet for drinks (people like to brunch here and IDK I rather just have my pancakes). A lot of time I feel out of place and annoyed of how unfriendly this place really is, and I was born here. Or the opportunities here for creative fields are slim.

I’m still not feeling the best about myself–the waves come not as much as they used to, like every day. And it doesn’t help that I’m still not in that career job (more on that) or living in a place of my own. I am uncomfortable, my anxiety is more frequent, and I think we can all agree we feel more at ease when we are around people we enjoy, and in places we know.

REALITY check it’s hard for us 20 something adults trying to make it in the real world. And there are not a lot of creative jobs out there. and you do want to provide for yourself, have opportunities, see the world and live in the world and do what you love, with out the fear and feeling like shit living in it.

Me and MN just never belonged together I think. However, despite this feeling of disappointment and feeling stuck; maybe just maybe things are finally “happening.”

Things began to move

This is where things did began to move because I got a 2nd job that will give me the “experience” I’ve been missing, I believe. Because really, I’ve been applying to jobs for over a year and nothing has been happening. And not getting these jobs, interviews, or even an answer–I began to question myself.  I felt a lot a time a lone, which I know I’m not because I have the same conversation with girls my age A LOT.

A whole year with a masters degree and not doing what I went to school for, was disappointing. I started to feel like shit. Finally I feel I’m on the track I need to be on. I’m creating a lot of content and writing more to build up my CV. It’s not easy being a writer and getting paid for it.  I wish more people grasped that. Despite finally getting something that has put me onto the path I’ve been wanting to be on, there still that frustration and also tiredness of I have a masters and only getting part time minimal jobs. That BITES! Also running around feeling exhausted has giving me no room for anything else…

Let’s talk Blogging

Blogging has suddenly paused. I’ve fallen out of the loop with blogging and bloggers. There are days where I could be on top of it, but I’m tired, or the 6 hour difference struggle.  I love blogging  and well we all want what we love and enjoy to be our job.  I don’t want blogging to become something it isn’t for me, I don’t want to take on #spon, when it’s not right. And that hasn’t come yet in the swoon of random emails of products, companies asking for more followers (the behind blogging stuff).

I will always be honest with you guys. Blogging has really come to a hault a lot of days but some days it’s going. I’m still working on the balance and planning of two jobs, blogging and a life. 

Where am I now? 

I was told at work that I treat “Ireland like my home but it’s not” and that honestly bothered me, because (A) how many times have I talked about why I left because I was temporary?  I told them”I don’t think I do but you should try lifting up your life.” Because I wasn’t living out of a suit case in Ireland, I was improving my life.  And that’s where I am now, trying to get my life back and myself back.

How I miss the girl I once was and I want her back. Moving to Ireland probably was the best thing for me; I really became someone I never thought I would be and losing that affected my confidence in myself on so many levels. I was back on the couch binge watching Gilmore Girls the whole summer. And this girl I grew out of is some how back?

The truth is when you lose yourself in so many ways it’ll take a while to get to where you once were. I think this is where a lot of people get confused and I get tired of talking about it, because the only way to move on is to keep going forward. But I can’t help feeling I keep going backwards.

What’s next?

 I told myself another year in MN despite us not belonging together. Another year so I can start making BIGGER moves. You hear a lot of stories of a girl who started with a blog and now is a best seller–personally I want to be that girl! That’s my goal, I went to school for writing, I want to write. If it’s through someone else’s voice until my voice gets heard then so be it. I never went for Creative writing to write a novel but after this year the thought did cross my mind: “Maybe it’s time to write a novel”.

There is some sort of ‘plan’ floating around in my head, but half the time I have no time, I get stressed, anxiety and fear about my future hits me, and all I want is to live my life doing what I want to do.  State side is not easy going; I am not relaxed with work. And that’s what I miss a lot, the easy going life with drinks on a Monday night, hanging with friends in the Village on a Tuesday evening, stores closing at 6 pm week days.

So what I would like to happen next is to stop feeling this pressure;  I want to keep blogging; I want to see my writing in others’ hands in some form or another.  I want to keep working to have a career writing but I also want to live my life.  After a year of being back I honestly am ready to move forward and I think I can if I keep pushing myself further and don’t let my anxiety, fears, doubts hold me back. 
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Over all the biggest thing I learned is to put myself first and limit the stress I put onto myself. It is going to take awhile to put myself back together and figure out life; I need to take baby steps and find those happy things in my daily life. Take care of myself.

I do hope writing these updates aren’t like too much like a diary, but like all my other writings I have done on here it will let others know they’re not alone; they may say “that’s exactly it.” (If you’re saying that’s exactly it comment below with that’s exactly it! We girls (or boys) have to stick together.)

 

 

 

 

 

Bad date part 4: what does a girl want

From the perspective of a city girl

Disclaimer these bad dates aren’t suppose to be hating or anything on dating, men or anything. There mostly suppose to be funny and empowering for girls (I’m a girl).  Part 5 is something I’ve been holding off on because its an important topic of dating and/or relationships.  But first light and fluffy.

What does a girl want? A GREAT song and a good question. .I want to start Part 4 of bad dates with a little example…

one time I was on bumble and this guy asked me for drinks straight away, something I get but I really don’t want to do. I want to talk to the guy before I go meet him–complete stranger! But, I was actually honestly busy which I told him. He decided to offer that “we can just hook up if that would be easier”. He even offered to take me to Perkins. I KNOW PANCAKES! (sarcasm) I told him that if he wanted a hook up he could just go out and pick up a girl the usual way” HIS RESPONSE: “you’re just too hard to please, no drinks, no hooking up, I tried everything” MY ANSWER: :I didn’t say no I said my free days aren’t free at the moment. And hooking up is what ever girl loves to hear *insert the eye rolling emoji*” 

He might be joking. And me ‘calling him’ out he actually saw my point (rare thing) and wanted to start over, but I was kind of over bumble so we never talked again.  Despite a “joke” saying “you’re just hard to please” and telling a girl “we could just hook up if that is easier” IS NOT WHAT THEY WANT.

It would be so easy to tell you what a girl doesn’t want. A game, random out of the blue message of “what’s up” to an emoji after months of silence. A girl doesn’t want some guy to be passive or someone who is intimated by her. List goes on, but what does a girl want?

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After a first date with a guy he asked me what I wanted out of this. A question that made no sense to me since this was the first date. And it seemed each time I went on date with a guy or even meeting a guy in the bar it came to this.  What does she want? Because obviously we want to have your babies right there.

What a girl wants with a relationship is more complex every girl wants something different out of a relationship, might be stability, someone to take care of them. Might be a family man someone who is going to take care of the kids. Someone who puts in the work to make things work. A guy who’s going to be there even when its shitty.

Every girl has imagine her dream guy. She has some sort of type; mines between Ryan Gosling and Zac Efron-but British. But girls rarely date there type, I know I haven’t except for hair colour. And I only get series with guys that I feel complete comfortable around-which in all honesty is a rare thing. You know your not going to get into a relationship with a guy who goes agents all your values. That is maybe why when dating I lay it right out there, this is what I value and if they don’t text me back well we didn’t waste our time.

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Found on Pinterest. Can this guy be my next BF?!?! (he probably already has a gf because he’s perfect with that jean jacket, camera and sign) LOLS

Girls are stereotypical put in this complicated box of, she is not telling you want she wants. It’s in every romcom where the main character is a guy trying to understand his now X girl friend. But as simple as He’s Just Not That Into puts it for guys its the same for girls, “if she wants to date you she will date you.” Or your in the friend zone. *insert some football touch down gif*

We all girls want something different. And it seems with dating its getting harder to get what you want . So to answer your question. What girls want isn’t always a ring, a house or 40 years. When you meet a girl don’t expect her to be walking down the ale any time soon. Some girls, maybe even most girls, only want someone to join them on their adventures of life. But all girls want respect, which will bring on part 5 coming soon.